Elite Dangerous - to the Core and back

Got back into this game a bit recently, having taken rides on a long-range fleet carrier to the centre of the galaxy, flown 3,000 light years on my own to the Great Annihilator black hole and am now on another fleet carrier heading back to the Bubble. Good times, especially when with other players.

Easter Sunday

 

He is risen indeed! Alleluia!

Good Friday

 

He died so our sins might be forgiven and that we would have eternal life.

Thank you, Jesus.

Palm Sunday

 

He knew what was coming. He could have easily avoided it or made it go away. But he did not because of his love for us.

London Loop Sections 2 & 3

I thought I'd written something about my Section 2 journey, but clearly I didn't. I did that particular section (Bexley to Petts Wood) back in November, which involved around three hours of walking including getting lost in Acorn Wood, an expensive lunch and crossing three major transport routes.

That was a seven-mile-long affair, which goes mostly through open country parks by nice rivers and happens to start right next to Bexley station.

I then took a break over winter, except for a five-mile walk through my local area on New Year's Day, which happened to be a warm and pleasant one, but my route was altered when the path in front of me turned into a literal marsh.

Keeping a close eye on the weather forecast - rain on the day or the day before is a no-no, along with general coldness, today proved to be the first suitable day I had availability.

****

Section 3 is a much different beast to Section 2. You're talking steep hills, the occasional bit over country roads and paths that are still massively muddy two days after a downpour. It's also over nine miles when you add the links to the stations at either end.

Petts Wood, accessible by Southeastern trains from London Bridge (not my favourite London station, because it's a long walk to the Tube) is not the starting point for the section - you must walk into the country park and then start. Jubilee Country Park had a lot of dogs and their humans.

Then after a walk through the suburb of Southborough, you end up in Crofton Wood. Einstein's comment about relativity very much applies; it felt very much like an hour when I was in there around 30 minutes. Deep unrelenting mud on the main path and the extra path off to the left is still not great, poor signposting not helping either. I have no intention of going back there in a hurry.

You then come out into a lovely meadow before reaching Farnborough, which includes the Change of Horses, an old coaching inn on what was the London to Hastings route. I had sausage and mash there for lunch, but decided their desserts were too pricey. 

It was three miles before lunch - and five after it. Five long arduous miles, not helped by the fact my right leg was hurting (I should have stretched before starting or taken some paracetamol), several steep climbs and the fact you really aren't sure how far you have to go. 

There are some interesting sights, though, including the site of the Wilberforce Oak (where William Wilberforce supposedly decided to try to abolish the slave trade), a possible Iron Age fort and the remains of a mansion that burned down in 1967.  

I did over 28,000 steps today or over 21km, due to all the other walking on the journey. That is a personal record for me.

In any event, I am planning to do Section 4 next month. Expect a post on that. 

Ukraine #3: The suffering of civilians

Russia is engaging in medieval style siege tactics around Mariupol and other cities, trying to pulverise the places into surrendering. If they want to control Ukraine, taking it over via massive bloodshed is not going to work very well. You'll have a lot of deep resentment against an occupying force as countless examples demonstrate throughout history.

Putin might be thinking that he can make Ukraine surrender if the civilian death toll is that bad, but currently they show no sign of doing that. It's also a rare thing to have happen. Russia had to wreck Grozny and Aleppo.

We could still have a lot more bloodshed to come, sadly.

Blue Train to Munich - Nightjet and the capital of Bavaria

At the beginning of 2020, I arranged a trip to Bavaria planning to visit Munich and attend the Oberammergau Passion Play. Then Covid happened; the play was put back to 2022 and while Munich looked a possibility for September 2020, increasing travel restrictions made my plans increasingly hard and I eventually shelved the whole thing.

Fortunately, the international travel situation has improved to the point that a fully vaccinated traveller can go to much of the planet with some extra bureaucracy and costs, most notably around testing. Remember when we were told not to stick things up our noses? I know all this stuff is necessary, but I don't think many of us enjoy it.

With some changes to my original plan, I decided to go on the second of my long-distance international train journeys.

First, some context.

Nightjet and all that jazz[1]

Nightjet is the brand name for the overnight trains operated by ÖBB, the state operator of Austria. The operation was created in 2016 when Germany's Deutsche Bahn decided to stop running its sleeper trains and ÖBB took over those services, combining them with its existing EuroNight operations in a name designed to go with their Railjet express services.

They successfully arrested a decline in European sleeper trains and have indeed expanded their services to other countries including the Netherlands earlier this year after a Covid delay.

The Nightjet service consists of three types of carriages:

• Seated carriages. These contain six-seat compartments for the really budget conscious and not recommended by seasoned travellers. Compartment coaches are something non-existent outside heritage lines in Great Britain, although the proposed Grand Union open access service on the West Coast Main Line is looking to bring some back. 
• Couchettes. Consisting of two or three padded bunks on each side of the compartment, this is the middle-level option. Mixed-sex, although some ladies-only ones are available, and you don't fully undress in there. The bunks can be folded away to convert the carriages to 'day mode' akin to the seated carriages. There is a toilet and washroom at each end of the carriage.
• Sleepers. Up to three-fold-down beds with a washbasin in a cupboard; there are also some deluxe compartments with en-suite toilet and shower. The latter had sold out by the time I made my booking, so I needed to use the toilet/shower at the end of the corridor.

Most of the Nightjet sleeper fleet consists of carriages built in the 2000s; while they have charging plugs for mobile phones or laptops, they do not have Wi-Fi, which can be a bit of an issue when you're out in the countryside. Make sure you download anything you want to watch.

Unlike the Caledonian Sleeper (which I went on in 2016, although they now have new carriages) or Night Riviera services in the UK, the compartments can be converted between day mode and night mode with the beds lowered down and put back when you want them. This is something that the attendant does for you and shouldn't be done yourself.

Safety isn't an issue if you take the normal precautions; you can bolt the door to your compartment from the inside and are provided with a keycard for when you pop down to the restroom or shower.

Nightjet also provide a car-sleeper service where you can transport your car on a double-deck wagon on some routes, although not all year round. This is something that could do with reintroduction in the UK; it would help reduce CO2 emissions. 

Outward journey

I purchased a Global Interrail Pass for this trip - worth the money as the high-speed train journeys are expensive otherwise.

I left my home at the civilised hour of 08:05 on Wednesday 6 October, making my way to St Pancras via the London Underground. Once I got there, I made my way to the Collinson Group Covid testing centre on the top floor - the Dutch required a negative lateral flow test for entry. You need to pre-book and even then, there's a bit of a queue, but they do the swabbing for you.

I then checked in; I had to do this manually with my pass, but there were no problems there. I got my negative result while standing in the passport queue for entering France.

Speaking of passports, due to Brexit, British travellers are now required to obtain stamps in their passport when entering or leaving the Schengen border-free zone; not having one can lead to problems. Once ETIAS, the EU's electronic registration system for visa-free entry, becomes a thing, these will no longer be done.

Then it was a case of waiting in the lounge below the platforms until the boarding call.

The Eurostar services to Amsterdam are operated by 320km/h capable electric multiple units built by Siemens. I have been on these before and found them comfortable trains with smart interiors. You don't really notice the speed either unless you're looking out of the window, although walking down the aisle can be a challenge; the handholds should be used.

I had a light lunch on the train during the just over four-hour journey to Amsterdam. The most interesting section of the route is the Brussels to Antwerp part, which runs along a non-high-speed line, allowing you to see regular Belgian rolling stock, which is sometimes covered in graffiti. The Channel Tunnel itself is just a long tunnel and you don't even lose mobile reception in it.

I had three hours to spend in Amsterdam before my sleeper train, so I went for a walk through the city. I avoided the red-light district, which is not my cup of tea at all. I did see a cannabis shop though.

Once I had done my walk, I returned to Amsterdam Centraal and had dinner at the Grand Cafe 1e Klas on Platform 2. A pricey affair - I chose not to pay for dessert - but excellent food and ambience; you can see the activity on the platforms from your seat.

Once I had finished, I collected my suitcase and made my way to Platform 7 where the Nightjet service was due to arrive.

 

Nightjet 421, at the time of my journey, was split into two sections when it departs from Amsterdam, with the third section from Brussels joining it at Troisdorf instead of Cologne West due to engineering works affecting the latter and forcing a diversion away from Cologne's elegant central station. As you can see, there are typically only one or two sleepers for a given route. More is non-economical.

I was in coach 282, third from the back and it was just a case of waiting for the train to pull in. I didn't get a particularly good shot of the Siemens Vectron locomotive in NS yellow-and-blue as it pulled the ten-carriage formation in from the sidings; there also wasn't really time for me to walk down to take a photograph as I was focussed on getting on board.

I showed my ticket to the attendant - in the old days he'd have taken my passport for dealing with frontier checks - and made my way down the corridor to find my compartment.

In this case, it was a 125mph cupboard - the Comfortline carriages are cleared for 200 km/h, although don't get anywhere near it on this journey.

An array of photographs of the interior can be found here; they're better than my shots. While bigger than the Caledonian Sleeper compartments, it is still possible for you to do yourself a mischief if you're used to bigger rooms.

Departure was on time and with no other dessert options available - something I should checked beforehand - I had a large chocolate bar. I also drank the complimentary Prosecco, figuring that it might help me sleep,

There wasn't a huge amount to see - the sun had already set by the time I'd boarded this train, so it was a case of watching something on my tablet - I forget what it was.

The power charger in my room was proving to be temperamental. In fact, the whole room power turned out to be unreliable with the loss of most of the lights, the water (which needs a pump) and the air conditioning. This was one of the most modern locomotives in Europe and it wasn't working properly! Eventually, the train was brought to a stop. By the classic method of turning it off and turning it on again, the power problems were fixed.

We eventually reached Troisdorf and were running behind schedule at this point. With my compartment facing a solid wall and no way I was going to be able to watch any shunting operations on the other side, I decided to turn in at that point.

My sleep wasn't that great. The swaying of the carriage i.e. it was tilting a bit and the narrow bed are not things that I am exactly used to. Coupled with the uncertainty about my location and the fact we were running late, I barely got beyond Rapid Eye Movement. 

We got to Nuremberg around two hours late and I did get around two hours sleep after that before the attendant, having adjusted for our late running, woke me up. Once I was dressed, he converted the compartment back to day mode and then brought me my breakfast.

It was a particularly good breakfast and the Bavarian forest scenery was truly excellent as we approached Munich. The final approach to the Bavarian capital is past an extensive number of sidings and depots, where sights included some Class 218 diesel hydraulic locomotives from the 1960s and two HST power cars now owned by RailAdventure that were parked up at Munich Central.

In the end, we arrived at Munich 75 minutes behind schedule - long enough for me to be entitled to a 25% refund, which I eventually got a few weeks later. I took some photographs of the Taurus locomotive that was going to haul the train, now with car transports added from Hamburg while at Nuremberg, in the opposite direction for the rest of its journey to Innsbruck.

After a few photos, I then dropped my suitcase at my hotel - it was still not even 9am local time, so I then decided to explore the city.

I have to say that I enjoyed the Nightjet journey and would take a sleeper train in future with them. Hopefully, the power won't go out next time.

The whole journey took around 24 hours, although about a sixth of that was waiting at stations or walking in Amsterdam. Not a massive acceleration on how things would have been 50 years ago, where I would have had multiple overnight options from different ports, with the Orient Express from Paris a realistic option.

Time in Munich and elsewhere

Munich itself is a very charming city; with a lot of nice architecture in the city centre around Marienplatz. That location was where I converted my NHS Covid Pass into an EU one for the cost of €6 at the pharmacy there. Bear that in mind for 2022 if you're visiting.

I visited several the sites in this area, including the Residenz, the old Bavarian royal palace that is now a museum. Much of the place was severely damaged in the Second World War[2] and several rooms are incomplete as a result, something that the audio guide frequently points out. It is a big place; you'll need a couple of hours to do it and you may be a bit sick of rococo by the time you're done.

The city also has an extensive public transport system, with a U-Bahn (metro) dating from the 1970s, trams and buses. The suburban railway network is also particularly good and if you're a rail enthusiast, a journey along the line from Pasing to Central provides a smorgasbord (or whatever the German equivalent is) of railway vehicles to see.

I couldn't pass up the opportunity to munch on some sausages in a beer hall, although I didn't drink any beer. The Hofbräuhaus is a genuinely lovely place to visit, although best not to mention the fact it was used for Nazi Party meetings. The hall where the putsch attempt started was demolished in the 1970s, BTW.

Nuremberg & DB Museum

Nuremberg, where Germany's railways began, is easily accessible by train from Munich and you don't have to pay the expensive ICE fare with an Interrail Pass. The modern InterCity Express high-speed services that criss-cross Germany are some of the best trains in Europe, full stop.

Nuremberg itself was where the Nazi regime very much started and ended, with the annual rallies during the 1930s and the war crime trials after the war was done.

I was unable to get close to the reviewing stand where Hitler did his speeches as there was a motor racing event going on - the road in front of it forms part of a street circuit and has done since the American occupation.

However, I was able to visit the Nuremberg Trials Memorial. The former courtroom used for the trials was converted back to a German one after they were done and carried on being used for criminal cases until 2019, when it became part of the museum. The main part of the exhibition is upstairs and while the displays are in German, an audio guide in English is provided. Sitting inside the courtroom itself is a sobering experience even if the Tribunal features are mostly gone. I realised that where I'd been sitting was within literal spitting distance of Hermann Göring's seat during the Major War Criminals Trial. As Hitler's de facto deputy for nearly all the war, he would be the most senior Nazi to face earthly justice, although he would take a cyanide pill just before his scheduled execution.

But the museum does not shy away from the fact that many Nazis got away with their actions. The start of the Cold War meant that many people lost interest in the crimes of that regime and the Western Allies increasingly let the West Germans run the show. Many got away with minor sentences or never faced the courts; no top-level director of Deutsche Reichsbahn for example was ever charged over transporting people by rail in inhuman conditions to the camps.

The role of the German railways in supporting the Nazi regime is something not ignored in the place I visited in the afternoon. Going back to the days of the Bavarian state railway, the DB Museum in Nuremberg is one of three such ones in Germany, with the other two sites in Halle and Koblenz.

The ground floor covers the history of German railways from the start up until 1945, with several historical vehicles on display, including state coaches of Otto von Bismarck and Ludwig II of Bavaria, the one who built the extravagant castles. This includes displays on the World Wars, including the Holocaust.

The first floor takes the story up from 1945, covering the parallel development of Deutsche Bundesbahn and Deutsche Reichsbahn i.e. the operators from West and East Germany. This was by far the most interesting bit of the museum, with an array of exhibits ranging from early railway computer systems to examples of some of the dodgier advertisements DB used in the 1970s.

Across the street there is a yard area with an array of locomotives and carriages, right next to the main line. Some of these are undercover and include the sole remaining bit of the first express DEMU built for German railways. However, the carriages were not open, so you couldn't get the full experience. I like at least one opportunity to sit in an old railway carriage.

There is also a large model railway section and various temporary exhibits; I was not able to do everything before the place closed and I headed back to Munich on a late-running ICE service with a considerable number of Bundeswehr people on the train with me.

Dachau

The first Nazi concentration camp is somewhere where you don't go for fun but is a must-do for any visitor to Munich. You need to get a bus from the S-Bahn station of the same name; the site is well hidden behind trees and within a suburb that residents must feel a bit strange about living in, considering the sheer infamy associated with the very name.

Not all the buildings were open due to Covid, with the cell block and the two barracks for prisoners - rebuilt for the memorial - closed. The main museum block was open though and this provided a comprehensive account of just what went on there. Like Auschwitz and several other such camps, there is an "Arbeit Macht Frei" sign at the gate - this is a replica with the original displayed inside the museum; the latter was stolen in 2014 and found in Norway in December 2016 after an anonymous tip-off.

A very chilling place, particularly the crematorium and gas chamber at the back of the site. Dachau was not used for mass killings, but inmates were subject to medical experiments and other casual brutality, as well as the horrific conditions. A wall near the museum bears the marks of the shootings that took place there and I was slightly upset when I saw someone take a selfie there.

An estimated 41,500 people died at Dachau, many of their ashes dumped into pits at the back of the site, now marked as the graves of many unknown thousands. The message on the memorial walls is a sentiment we can all agree with:

Olympic Stadium

In 1972, Munich hosted the Summer Olympic Games, an event overshadowed massively by the terrorist attack against Israeli athletes. The games are notable for their introduction of the standard icons for the different sports, Mark Spitz winning seven gold medals and Olga Korbut winning three. In a way, this was very much the moment West Germany restored the damage done to Germany's reputation by the war.

The Olympic Park and Village built for the competitors both remain very much in situ. You can walk around the outside of the glass and wire stadium (a bit vertigo inducing at some points) or zipline down from the roof if that's what you enjoy. Much of the stadium was closed off for the Munich marathon due to take place the following day, while the main memorial to the massacre was also shut due to the site needing repairs. There is also a long series of panels detailing the history of those games.

This is a big site and it's quite a walk from the U-Bahn station that serves it. Something true of the London Stadium too, but fortunately, I like a good walk.

Bavarian Railway Museum

Having done the Buckow Light Railway in 2016, which is electric, I wanted to do a steam line this time around. The Bavarian Railway Museum, consisting of a former steam shed linked to an exceptionally long (by heritage standards) single-track line used by freight during the week, is a bit of a trek from Munich, involving three trains to get to the northern end at Gunzenhausen.

Waiting there was a 1939-vintage steam locomotive hauling a series of mostly six-wheeled coaches, which I learned had bodies from the 1950s and underframes from the 1910s - they had to do a lot of recycling in the aftermath of the war. I look a fair bit younger than I am - I get asked to prove my age in pubs! So, it's not that surprising in retrospect that I was mistakenly sold a child's ticket. Not the ticket collector's fault though.

The 'Rekowagens', which stayed into service until the 1980s and had a memorable career end running extra services that had to be put on after the fall of the Berlin Wall, are very pleasant vehicles, although lack air conditioning, so probably aren't great on a balmy day when stationary.

After arriving at the other end of the line in Nördlingen, I made another ride up most of the length of the line, this time riding on a pair of diesel railcars from the 1950s that helped keep branch lines open. This consisted of a noisy powered vehicle where you could see out of the front and a quiet trailer with a guard's section blocking the view that way. It was a pleasant ride and gave me a different perspective on German railway history, although I still hope to ride an old long-distance type at some point.

I was hoping to get off midway and get some lunch, but the train did not in fact stop either way and there was nothing open within easy reach of the other intermediate station, I had to get a late lunch in Nördlingen itself before walking to the main museum itself. The museum is right next to the station, but there is no direct connection, and you need to walk through a housing estate. This limited my time in the museum to just over an hour as I had to get back to the main station for my train; otherwise, I would have needed to wait a further two hours.

The Bavarian Railway Museum does have a very extensive collection of locomotives and rolling stock, these are in fact on both sides of the mainline track. If you like your locomotives big, black and steam, you'll be happy, but there are also diesel and electric locos, some of which are main-line registered. There is also a large model railway display and an exhibition detailing the history of the station. Unfortunately, I didn't find anything to buy in the shop.

I headed back to Munich via a branch line where the platforms were just gravel and a line of bricks, then riding on a locomotive hauled EuroCity train bound for Klagenfurt in Austria.

A good day out, although chilly - Bavaria in October is not a warm place and, on a Sunday, there aren't many shops open in this more conservative part of Germany.

Salzburg

One of the trains that I most definitely wanted to do on this visit was the Railjet high-speed loco hauled service, having seen them on a previous visit to Vienna but not gone on one. At full speed, the Taurus can operate at 230 km/h or 145 mph, which is faster than any British train except the Eurostar, although the relative lack of high-speed routes in Central Europe means that the Taurus cannot really go full power. They also possess a very musical start-up sound (not my video):

The Railjet network runs from Austria as far as Berlin in the north, Budapest in the east, Venice in the south and Zurich in the west, using fixed formations of seven coaches with a driving trailer at the non-loco end in a similar style to the Taurus. Some services operate in pairs to head for different destinations, splitting on route. There are three classes of accommodation, Second, First and Business, the last with three-seater compartments.

Some of the sets and locos are operated by the Czechia state operator, being painted in their blue-and-white colours.

The service I got was Railjet Express 63, ultimate destination Budapest in Hungary. I can safely say that the Railjet is as good as I thought it would be. I had an excellent schnitzel from the buffet car and admired the scenery, even if the issues with the Wi-Fi caused problems getting my pass QR code up for the ticket inspector.

We were about ten minutes late and I was barely able to make a suburban train to Salzburg South, where I got an InterCity train back. I do trips like this just to say I have done those types.

On my return, I saw a locomotive and single carriage, both in Nightjet livery. On investigation, it was a press launch for some 'new' couchette carriages, being converted from surplus seated carriages. They will have Wi-Fi and a dedicated compartment for those with disabilities. I took one photo and left them to it.

I walked through Salzburg, a city which has a lot of Alpine charm and is famous for The Sound of Music - a stage production was due for 22 October.

I went up to the fortress there, which you access by a funicular, or you can walk to it. There are a few museums up there, including one for a military regiment that fought in the First World War, which gives you a different perspective to the British one I'm used to - Austria-Hungary's conflict against Italy was in an environment even less pleasant than the Western Front.

An interesting place with splendid views, although pricey. Such as the way of the world today.

It was also cold up and a bit windy up there - I ended up buying gloves as my hands were getting chapped.

After heading back down, I got a trolleybus back to the station and then a regional train back to Munich, with the German border police boarding at Freilassing, having a chat with someone, and then leaving. I had to put a specific train down for the entry form; if I hadn't, I might have decided to get something different back, but the Stadler Flirt in Germany is just as good as the British version used by Greater Anglia.

Heading back

I had considered getting day trains back but couldn't make the timings work. One advantage of sleepers is that you can of course sleep in them - far more comfortably than if you're sitting in a seat - but I didn't fancy running the risk of a second night of lost sleep.

So, I flew back on Tuesday afternoon (after a final morning walk through the city centre) - and not by the one of the budget airlines, instead taking Lufthansa from Munich airport. The German police officer at passport control was a bit confused as to where I had entered the Schengen Area; not realising that the French stamp your passport at St Pancras. Fortunately, I was stamped out once I explained.

This then a bit farcy as there was a long wait at the gate for our Covid documents to be checked. Why they couldn't have been checked earlier isn't entirely clear. Then the bus to the airport took us all the way around the proverbial houses to our plane, which was parked at the other (closed) terminal. The crew were half an hour late as well.

We flew back on your standard plane ride, made worse by the FFP2 mask, which I binned on landing as I'd worn it all day. Then a long wait to go through the e-gates at Heathrow, which was balanced by my luggage being on the belt when I arrived. Through customs and a long wait on the lift before First Class (an extra seven pound over the regular cost) on Heathrow Express to Paddington - they've recently got 'new' trains - and the Tube home.

Then a day off to recover before returning to the 'real world' of my job that pays for trips like this... trips that I am planning more of.

[1] Does not contain actual jazz. Midnight Trains probably will, if it actually starts.

[2] Munich was subjected to heavy bombing by the Americans and British during the war; it isn't that hard a city to find with the Alps in proximity. Two months after my visit, an unexploded bomb from the war went off during construction work of a new railway tunnel, injuring four people. The city itself fell with not much actual resistance to the Americans in the closing days of the war.

Ukraine #2: The Paper Tiger, or rather Bear

We used to fear the Russian military. The events of the past two weeks have radically changed opinions. It appears they have massive issues with logistics, communications security and morale. The fact that Su-34s, the most modern strike aircraft in their inventory, are being shot down, and they haven't gotten control of the air yet is massively telling.

Meanwhile, the sanctions seem to be causing real pain as company after company is terminating their operations and the ruble is plummeting in value.

Putin seems either completely unhinged or doing a very good impression of it. We cannot rule out a palace coup at this stage. We also can't rule out the use of nuclear weapons, but that would require a lot of other people to be crazy.

But until he's gone, a lot of people are going to suffer from his delusional folly.

Ukraine

Russia's invasion of Ukraine is a blatant act of aggression without justification. Strong sanctions are needed, along with material help to the people of Ukraine.

The fact that Russia's attack is not going as well as they clearly hoped is a good thing.

But many people will still suffer and I encourage you to donate to charities that are helping those caught up in a war not of their marking.

Слава Україні!

The Power of the Dog

Watched this today. Not a dog's breakfast, but I've seen much better films. The Academy remains out of touch with the tastes of the wider public.

The eyebrows have it (Review: 'Star Trek' 3.2 "The Enterprise Incident")

I've known that a cloaking device 'did' for the first Enterprise since I was a young lad and before I even watched The Search for Spock, by virtue of owning the 'Read-Along' kids version cassette tape of the film.

This isn't the first appearance of a cloaking device in the show - that's "Balance of Terror", which I watched quite a while back now, but this is the first one where they're truly effective.

It also has another first, which I'll discuss later.

****

Kirk has seemingly gone crazy, ordering the Enterprise to not only go into the Neutral Zone but straight past it into Romulan space. At which point, the Romulans come out of nowhere and surround the ship. Now the crew must get out of this situation...

****

The Romulans, making their second and final TOS appearance, were very much the (then very closed off) People's Republic of China to the Klingon Soviet Union. They even use Klingon ships in this episode, the D7 making its first appearance in the series as broadcast originally here - they were added to some remastered episodes in Season 2 later. Real-life is mirrored here as the Chinese still use a lot of Soviet/Russian tech in their military to this day.

This is very much a Cold War episode, inspired by the real-life capture of an American patrol boat, USS Pueblo, by North Korea in January 1968 with the crew being held by the DPRK during nearly all of 1968 before their release. The ship remains in the Hermit Kingdom's hands as a museum ship - and is still officially a commissioned US warship to boot. 

The story is a classic war movie/spy movie affair, with misdirection, infiltration, and a feeling of menace on the Romulan vessel. Or an attempt at the latter. The overall production doesn't quite work in that regard, possibly because no-one fries a redshirt.

The episode makes effective - if predictable - use of that thing in long-running TV shows where an episode apparently has one character completely betray the others, but in reality, they're doing it to get in close with the baddies. It's called Fake Defector and I was the one who came up with the title at TV Trope. 

(Among some of my many contributions in the early days, not all of which involved puns)

The Fake Defector in this episode is Spock, who as a Vulcan is like Romulans in a way that's been expanded by the lore all the way up to the present day. This includes him "killing" Kirk by means of a "Vulcan death grip", which like the "nerve pinch" is something kids can safely copy in the playground. This fakery manages to convince the entire crew, including McCoy. But we'll get back to Kirk later.

When we first see the Romulan commander, she's introduced by the dramatic reveal... that she's a woman! She is the first female starship commander we see in Star Trek - she promptly does her gender few favours by dressing in a truly short dress and thigh-high boots, changing into a slinky one-shoulder dress and falling in love with Spock. Romulans are the ones that aren't completely logical, but the half-human Spock has feelings for her too and there is some intense facial stroking. Apart from that, she's a competent commander and her subordinates are OK too.

Kirk, whose earlier craziness had been faked as part of a scheme to make the whole thing plausible deniable if the operation goes pear-shaped, returns from the dead... and then has cosmetic surgery to make him look like a Romulan. This is the silliest thing in the episode by a space mile; couldn't they just use make-up. It's a pity, as Shatner is again good here. So is everyone else, Scotty in particular.

The climax sees the crew make their escape in great style, with Scotty's engineering prowess saving the day and head home with what they intended to get. Kirk needs some more surgery... but we don't get a peal of laughter. Thankfully.

****

Conclusion

This is considered one of the better episodes of TOS and indeed the franchise. I personally found the romance subplot and the Kirk surgery jarring, so I can only give this...

6/10

Discovery returns next week, but with new Trek running through for a while yet, I intend to carry these on.

70 years since the accession of Queen Elizabeth II

Today marks 70 years since the Queen's reign started. For 94% of the world, she is the only British monarch they have ever known.

For all the problems the rest of the family has, she has been a beacon of leadership for this country and the Commonwealth. If we voted for a President, she might well win it.

Thank you, Your Majesty.

Milton Keynes

Visited this most infamous of new towns today to check out the National Film and Sci-Fi Museum. There's a huge amount of stuff there - including Ripley's helmet from Alien, Orac from Blake's 7, multiple rooms of Star Wars stuff and loads of screen-worn costumes. Almost too much in fact; the space is too small for all this science fiction goodness.

Mind you, if you're going to visit Milton Keynes to see it, make sure you find something else to do in that place while you're there - you'll be done in an hour. Partly as there's a no photography rule for all bar a few designated points, including a replica TARDIS console that should really have been labelled as such.

After lunch, I visited the MK Gallery, which has an exhibition on Laura Knight, a 20th century English realist painter who ended up a Dame and was the second woman elected to the Royal Academy.

This one you might recognise:

This is Take Off - one of her war artist works. Lot of other good stuff there - she rather liked doing nudes... but most painters do, she seems.

The wide avenues and very non-pedestrian friendly environs of Milton Keynes are not going to be somewhere I'll forget in a hurry, that's for sure.

In any event, my Network Railcard got me £8 off my ticket from Euston, so now I need to find another £22 worth of savings... but I don't intend to ride a LNWR Classs 350 again if I can help it.

Every dog has its very bad day (Review: 'Star Trek' 3.1, "Spock's Brain")

Now, I'd heard of this episode by reputation as supposedly the worst episode of Star Trek, quite possibly of the whole franchise. It's not the worst science fiction episode I've ever seen, but it's heading in that direction.

****

While investigating a mysterious spacecraft, a beautiful woman suddenly beams onto the bridge of the Enterprise (seriously, they need some shielding) and knocks everyone out. When they come too, they might that she has absconded with Spock's brain, removed without leaving any marks and with Spock's Vulcan physiology somehow keeping him temporarily alive. So, they must follow her and persuade her to give it back, but she needs it to run a planet...

****

The third season of TOS see the show moved to the Friday Night Death Slot (remember no streaming or DVR back then and much of its audience had other things to do on a Friday night) and its budget slashed. The Netflix episode being the 2007 remastered version, the cost-cutting is a lot less obvious, especially on the spacecraft scenes.

Gene Roddenberry stood down from day-to-day production duties, although kept the executive producer credit.

So, anyway, this episode was written by Gene L. Coon under a pseudonym. Coon as the former producer had created a huge chunk of the lore or at least written the episodes they debut in... but I suppose everyone has at least one clunker during their writing career. I know that I have.

We start with a ludicrous premise, and it doesn't get much better from there. We've got more "sexy" costumes" from William Ware Theiss, who is frankly starting to get on my nerves now. The dialogue is mostly inane with the primitives of the icy world they visit being particularly stereotypical and the women not exactly doing wonders for female representation; they're dumb and the men are dumber - when I first saw the later cavemen, I immediately thought of Monty Python's "It's" guy. It is also unclear how this species managed to survive with the social structure as set up.

The worst bit of the episode is 'Remote Control Spock' where McCoy somehow manages to develop a device allowing a Starfleet officer to pilot his body with no training and sufficient control to win a fight. 

Actually, strike that - the surgery scene at the end takes the proverbial biscuit where Spock somehow is able to talk McCoy through inserting his brain... and once it's done, there is again zero marks - his hair isn't even ruffled. Speaking of hair, Scotty has a new back-combed hair cut that makes him look much older and is distracting to boot.

The leads try their best with material they know is awful and admitted as such in later accounts on this one.

It's a pity, because there's potentially a good story underneath this and a couple of good scenes, including an application of 'science' being attacking the guards.

Conclusion

This is pretty poor - it's watchable, but I wouldn't choose to watch it again. 

3/10

****

A quick glance at articles on "worst episodes of Star Trek" reveal that there are a number more to come in Season 3...

Didn't he turn up in Lower Decks? (Review: 'Star Trek' 2.26, "Assignment: Earth")

The answer to that question is no, but Gary Seven has appeared in a number of non-canon works[1], including the Year Five IDW comics series from as recently as 2020.

Been a good while since I did one of these - when a 'current' series is running, I will focus on that. In any event, Discovery is on hiatus until February, so I might do a couple more of these before then. 

****

In a spot of rather casual time travel, the Enterprise goes back to 1968 to observe Earth's history and find out how the planet dealt with historical problems back then. As they're doing so, they intercept a transporter beam from a thousand light years away, with a suited man and his black cat. Who it turns out has advanced alien technology and plans to do something on Earth. Can the crew stop him? Should they stop him?

****

Star Trek was not doing well in the ratings during its second run and Roddenberry basically created the episode I am reviewing as a "backdoor pilot" for another show that was ultimately not picked up. NBC, convinced by among other things a mass letter writing campaign, renewed Star Trek, but... more on that in another post.

The plot is very Cold War in its basis and would have worked just fine as a standalone episode. A mysterious operative with high-tech gadgets (including an early version of a speech-to-text machine, a concept under development, but still very primitive at the time) that could be mucking around in Earth's history... definitely a good idea. Space nukes were something in the headlines at the time - the Outer Space Treaty banning them had been signed and ratified in 1967. 

The execution, however, is rather lacking. The Enterprise regulars are fine. Zero complaints about any of them - Sulu turns up as well in this one.

But then you've got those for the proposed spin-off series, Gary Seven and Roberta Lincoln. Gary Seven is a rather forgettable character, one of those generic action heroes that fill so much of television even today. Any series would have likely built on his background of course. As for Roberta Lincoln, the very-of-her-time secretary, she's a 'dumb blonde' who in one case literally advances the plot with her backside. As for Isis the cat, who is very well trained (any cat owner can tell you that getting one to do what you want is not easy), the revelation at the end really cheapens the character. Terri Garr would go on from this to get much better roles, including an Oscar nomination.

The rest of the guest cast... not really memorable... and look more than a bit silly after being hypnotised by Gary Seven. I wonder when the NYPD got rid of the double-breasted overcoats? They certainly don't wear them now. Feel free to respond in the comments.

There is a lot of stock footage of a Saturn V in this story, which would of course be the rocket that took man to the Moon for the first time, although it had only made one test flight at this point. It does seem a very odd choice for the space nukes described in the episode - there were plenty of far less powerful rockets in the US inventory that could do the job just fine. This footage in any event provides a considerable amount of padding.

That's the problem with this episode. It's too slow and padded out with not very good set-up for a series. The denouement is great as Spock and Kirk have to work out if they can trust Gary Seven... but that's the best part of the episode.

Ironically and tragically in the latter case, shortly after this episode aired, a Saturn V did have problems[2] and there was an "important assassination" - namely Martin Luther King Jr., who had persuaded Nichelle Nichols to stay on the show as she was an inspiration to young black women.

****

Conclusion

The concept is interesting, but let's be honest, I would not be joining the Gary Seven Army.

Oh, and "Spock's Brain" is next... I will brace myself.

6/10

[1]CBS policy is basically that only the TV series and films are 'canon'. The Abrams films from 2009 onwards are considered part of an alternate reality called "the Kelvin timeline" after the ship that was attacked at the beginning of the first of those, a term that has become official. The Animated Series went from being canon to non-canon to de facto canon again. In any event, stuff from these works has turned up in TV and film, therefore becoming canon, such as James Kirk having the middle name Tiberius.

[2]Apollo 6 had been planned to simulate a lunar return profile and had a number of engine problems meaning that the full mission plan could be achieved. In any event, with Lyndon Johnson's decision not to seek re-election and MLK's assassination, followed by mass riots, meant that the thing was rather ignored in the press.

Coronavirus #36 - past the Omicron peak

It is looking like Omicron has very peaked in the UK, with recorded case numbers coming down pretty rapidly over the last week. It is likely that this won't be the last wave of Covid infections here, but we're getting better at treating this all the time and I'm not sure how much more evolution the virus can do considering its pretty contagious as is.

In any event we will need to be vigiliant.

I've been following the developing scandal about parties in Downing Street like everyone else here. There seems to have been serial breaches going on here and Boris Johnson should have been aware of what has happening in his own offices. It's time for him to resign.

Desmond Tutu 1931-2021

A true legend of the anti-apartheid movement; a man not afraid to criticise all parties, including the white supremacist regime that caused so much harm to South Africa's people and the ANC governments that have not truly delivered on the equality hoped for. There are very few like him.

Rest in Peace.

Christmas 2021

This has been a better year than last, with the vaccine rollout making lives a lot better allowing for many restrictions to be at least temporarily lifted. Omicron is now posing a big challenge and it is clear that the fight against Covid-19 is by no means over yet.

All this has caused a lot of problems for people's mental health; uncertainty over plans and what we'll be allowed to do next week means that there isn't always a lot to look forward to.

But Jesus is something to look forward to. One day there will be no more guilt, no more fear, no more tears and no more uncertainty. Just an eternity of happiness with him in heaven. If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be able to keep going at times. He came to save sinners - and we are all sinners - taking our sins away from us via his perfect sacrifice. Things will get better.

With that message of hope, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Coronavirus #35 - The Omicron lockdown?

With the rate of Omicron's growth and its ability to get round the vaccines to some extent, the ultimate question is just how much severe illness it causes compared with Delta. The evidence from South Africa is that it isn't as bad by quite some margin, but it remains to be seen just how applicable that is with other countries.

A number of nations are implementing restrictions already to slow the impact of this; people in other places are adjusting their plans to minimise their risk. I was going to see the new Spiderman film yesterday, but I decided against it in the current circumstances.

We may end seeing further restrictions after Christmas. A lot depends on how this week - with the schools off, remember - goes, particularly with hospital admissions.

Coronavirus #34 - The Omicron Factor

So, we're back to mandatory masks in public transport and shops, along with self-isolation for all close contacts of those with this new variant. As yet, we don't know how much Omicron can beat the vaccine - I suspect it might allow for the vaccinated to be infected but not hospitalised. But better safe than sorry.