Insert Kai Pun Here (Review: 'The Karate Kid', 1984)

Watched this on Netflix over the last three days; that streamer of course is responsible for Cobra Kai, one of their longest-running shows at six seasons. Although some wags may remark that getting a second season is long-running for Netflix.

Anywhere, my thoughts on a very 80s movie:

• It takes 41 hours of non-stop driving to get from Newark in New Jersey to Reseda in California. How long would the journey take with all the stops in a car that needs jump-starting on several occasions.
• As is common with many a movie teen, Ralph Macchio was in his early 20s when he did this movie. He manages to look convincingly younger in this, demonstrating the right sort of 'I know more than you, old man' attitude that works for a coming of age piece like this. You do sympathise with him and want him to be happy. He's mentioned in Stranger Things as someone Max Mayfield finds to be hot and I can see why.
• Speaking of attractive people... Elisabeth Shue as Ali. Now I'm more familiar with the older Ms. Shue from her role in the latter seasons of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, but I can see that she must have been popular among certain female-liking types in the 1980s. The term "girl next door" springs quickly and she's definitely got the outfits for it.
• Mr. Miyagi. Now this is a case of "it's trope-y because it wrote the tropes". I'm sure I've seen quite a few characters like him over the years. The broken English, Japanese accent stuff definitely would not fly in this day and age, but the character is more than just a stereotype; he's got a sad backstory involving a darker side of American history not really explored at that point.
• "Wax On, Wax Off". Having not seen this movie before, I figured there was some sort of point to that, but I wouldn't have waited for four days before asking what it actually was.
• My experience with Asian martial arts consists of precisely one judo lesson, but they make the rules fairly clear here. Although my own research seems to suggest under-18s don't get black belts. Not these days at any rate.
• However, I did do fencing at university. The earlier fights in the tournament are over quickly and much more realistic for actual combat. The final showdown... well, that's clearly choreographed.
• Bullies in 1980s movies are particularly creative in their cruelty, while simultaneous being as dumb as a box of rocks. Hey, it comes with the genre.
• Cobra Kai do not seem as a whole to be very nice people, but we get some depth near the end, where they're reluctant to follow instructions from their sensei.
• I see Bill Conti did the music for this - he also did the Rocky series and the James Bond film For Your Eyes Only, one of Moore's better movies. It's good, but I can't say it's memorable, bar some of the other songs.

Conclusion

A pretty enjoyable slice of pure 1980s teenage movie with some good performances and generally well-made.

8/10

London Loop Section 18

Or [audible squelching], as it would appear on a Netflix show.

Yesterday, I made my way to Enfield Lock station in the north of London, intending to cover Sections 18 and 19 of the London Loop. This would entail a walk to Chingford, then another one from there to Chigwell. About 9.5 miles.

Now it started off reasonably OK, apart from getting rather lost on the first bit of the walk before I realised I'd turned off one turn too early.

I reached Enfield Lock, not the biggest thing to name an area after by a long chalk.

I crossed over the River Lee Flood Relief Channel, which marks the boundary between the London Borough of Enfield and Epping Forest, which isn't in London.

So far, so good. Then I crossed Sewardstone Road and the whole thing went to pot. Or rather to mud. The next field I had to cross was very muddy and the grass itself squelched under my boots as I walked along. It hadn't rained that day, but a bunch of rain from previous days and weeks had saturated the ground.

Things didn't get much better condition-wise from there. Several times I was having to step across muddy puddles that were deep enough that you couldn't see the bottom and came dangerously close to the liquid mud ending up inside my boots. They needed extensive cleaning when I got home.

I passed Gilwell Park, home of the Scout Association (I went there when I was in Cubs) and then got some great views towards Central London from Yates Meadow.

I eventually reached Chingford, back in the London Borough of Waltham Forest and had lunch in the Holly Trail Café before making a start on Section 19, hoping things would get better.

I got as far as the Butler's Retreat and seeing the path ahead was still a quagmire, my heart was no longer in it. I wasn't prepared to spend at least two more hours trudging through thick mud, especially as the weather was turning.

So, after a look round the Visitor Centre and the Queen Elizabeth Hunting Lodge (that the Tudor monarch probably never personally used), I headed for home.

I plan to do the next two stages - getting me to Havering-atte-Bower - at some point in April, keeping a careful eye on the weather as usually. Hopefully be less muddy then... 

Don't mind me. I'm just here for the screaming British woman (Review: 'Damsel')

Millie Bobby Brown is very much one of the main attractions of Netflix. At least they seem to think so, considering that they make big films centred around her, with The Electric State coming next.

Now, I wouldn't call myself a massive fan of the woman in Stranger Things (I prefer other characters in that), but she's pretty charming in Enola Holmes and when I saw this movie was coming out, I decided that there are worse ways to spend two commutes. I watched this on my tablet, so I didn't notice the CGI issues.

So anyway, my thoughts on this:

• The movie takes rather a long time to get going. It's about thirty minutes before Elodie is yeeted into the dragon pit.
• MBB is admittedly one of the common type of "slightly haughty posh British actresses"; or that's the sort of roles she plays outside of Stranger Things. Playing a noble lady therefore comes across as fine, but without a great dialogue coach, she's not going to pass as a shop assistant from Romford, unlike say Michelle Dockery.
• Elodie screams a lot. Like seriously a lot. In fairness, much of it is in circumstances where screaming is to be expected, but MBB is definitely getting the reputation as a scream queen out of this. The actress has a wonderfully expressive face and can do a range of emotions very well; there's a good overall progression to her arc in this movie. A movie openly feminist and released on International Women's Day to boot.
• Another aspect is that this is basically "Millie Bobby Brown does a striptease". Well, part of one. Her dress gets progressively torn to shreds over the course of the movie and by the end, she's gone from "royal ball" to "Romford nightclub and having fallen down the escalator at the Brewery". She gets some fairly nasty injuries, but most of them are healed and nothing ends up detracting from her beauty at the end of it.
• There's some deep horror stuff in all of this, because Elodie isn't the first young woman to have been fed to this particular dragon by a long chalk.
• The plot is a pretty good one, although some of the character motivations at the end are a bit odd and the conclusion of the story leaves some big questions open about the future.
• Shohreh Aghdashloo has exactly the right sort of voice you'd want for a dragon; reminding me of the late Sir John Hurt in Merlin.
• Ray Winstone does Ray Winstone, just Ray Winstone with a castle. Now, I say that Pegasus was a one-trick pony, but I get a feeling that he was slightly miscast in this one.
• Robin Wright as an evil queen is arguably the best of the rest of the cast; one notes that one of her early roles was of course in The Princess Bride. None of the others really stand out.
• One can't help but notice the resemblance in names between "Elodie" and "Eleven". No-one makes an "El-o-die" pun, which is a pity.

Conclusion

A decent enough film, but not a true great. Definitely saved by Millie Bobby Brown.

7/10

Scanning old material

I've been scanning some of my old notes and am currently finishing off the scan of my Persian Incursion playthrough that I did in 2012-2013. If you look in the November 2012 posts, that's where it starts

The raw PDF will be uploaded here shortly - minus 10 pages I somehow failed to save before throwing the originals away.

Not Skimping on the Skimpy (Review: 'Star Trek' 3.13, "Elaan of Troyius")

• Biochemical stuff making a woman irresistible to men? I've seen that sort of thing several times before. It's also date rape.
• Elaan wears no less than four revealing outfits in this episode. Some of the other outfits are typical Trek silly ones.
• Diplomacy is about being nice to people that you utterly despise. Jay Robinson does a great job as Petri in this regard, reminding me of the late Alan Rickman.
• Arranged marriages are inherently dubious. That should have been explored in more depth and would have been today.
• France Nuyen, who plays Elaan here worked with William Shatner four times, including on stage in The World of Suzie Wong in 1958-59, where they both won awards.
• I hadn't noticed this until I saw it discussed on Memory Alpha, but the Dragon Lady stereotype is in full force here - with a mixed heritage actress seemingly using brown make-up to make her skin darker.
• This marks the first appearance of the D7 battle cruiser in Klingon use; it previously featured in  "The Enterprise Incident" (filmed after this but aired earlier) in Romulan service.
• Engineering clearly isn't very well guarded. One red shirt, who swiftly ends up with a broken neck.
• We're in full "sneaky Russians" mode with the Klingons here. By having the Enterprise blow up and killing Elaan, they'll trigger a war and be able to take over the ruins.
• William Shatner does a very strong performance here, with subtle emotional performances and a strong commanding moment in the climax.

Conclusion

Some of the action in this is pretty good. Some of the gender and ethnic politics less so.

5/10

King Charles III diagnosed with cancer

 I wish His Majesty all the best at this difficult time for him and his family.

Space Saw (Review: 'Star Trek' 3.12, "The Empath")

I've never actually seen any of the Saw movies, by the way. Anyway:

• How did the record tape get on the table in the first place when the two people involved were transported away?
• This was one of the four TOS cases where someone sent in a script unsolicited and it actually got made into an episode. I wasn't aware you could actually do that!
• Of course, the lifeform is female!
• Clearly saving on the set construction costs here with the minimalist set construction more akin to a theatrical production. I'm reminded of "Spectre of the Gun", which did similar.
• That's a 1960s haircut if ever I've seen one.
• Having walked ten kilometres today, I can tell you that six is not a short distance to walk.
• Of course, Kirk's shirt comes off again! But McCoy's one gets damaged as well.
• This is all rather Swan Lake with the balletic style movements at times. Not that I've ever seen that.
• The Vians are torturing people. In fact, the BBC didn't air this in the original run and not at all until 1994, although Sky One aired shortly before that.
• There's some very good shots here with injuries fading in and out; remember this was pre-CGI.

Conclusion

An alright episode, but not a great one. Clearly a budget saver.

7/10

A superb theatrical experience (Review: 'Stranger Things: The First Shadow')

Went to see this at the Phoenix Theatre today. 

Definitely the most spectacular thing I have ever seen in an actual theatre that does plays; there's some brilliant effects more akin to an actual episode of the television show, where it's hard to tell what's live and what's been pre-recorded.

The cast are great; remember this is a mostly British cast doing American accents. In particular, the Oliver-nominated Isabella Pappas as Joyce and Louis McCartney as Henry Creel stand out.

The runtime is very long, but there's an awful lot of plot covered during it and it definitely sets up Season 5 very well.

Definitely worth £75, although bring your own cold drinks because they're very expensive in the theatre.

10/10

Well, at least it's not Hobgoblins (Review: 'Doctor Who', "The Church on Ruby Road")

• I get a feeling we're going to see that mysterious woman at the church again.
• The letters in the companion actor's name get out of the way of the TARDIS. They're sensible, I see.
• Ncuti Gatwa has a very different energy about him to David Tennant or the other Doctors. Which is of course a good thing. He's got a strong heroic vibe and is a fast talker as well, which are good Doctor traits to have.
• Millie Gibson as Ruby - bit early to say if I like her. She feels generic RTD companion to me, but she does have the whole "foundling" back story. She does a decent enough job though.
• A new sonic screwdriver and those special gloves. See they're trying to sell more merchandise.
• The Disney budget is clearly displayed on the screen - they'd never have this many goblins in the old days.
• Goblins have fallen rather out of the popular mainstream in the last few decades and I'm not sure this will do much to bring them back; they don't really do that much that makes them a real threat bar "pranks".
• Most of the goblin musical bit was released on YouTube before the episode along with an accompanying single on Spotify. It's a highlight of the episode, which isn't saying a great deal for the overall quality.
• The rules of time travel have never been consistently applied in this show, that's for sure.
• Suspect we'll be seeing Mrs. Flood again.

Conclusion

A fairly mediocre episode, saved by the quality of its leads.

6/10

Merry Christmas

In this rather bleak time for many, especially those in the Middle East and Ukraine, may God's love and grace be with you all at this time.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas.

 

Andre Braugher 1962-2023

I watched all of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Raymond Holt was one of its greatest characters, brilliantly brought to life by Andre Braugher. He could deadpan like no other. 

He was also great at drama, in that show and the short-lived Last Resort that I watched, in which he played a submarine commander. But that was just part of a highly acclaimed career - he was nominated for 11 Emmys, winning two of them.

His death at 61 comes far too soon and he'll be massively missed.

Rest in Peace.

Dutch Angles, Get Your Dutch Angles! (Review: 'Star Trek' 3.11, "Wink of an Eye")

• Watching this on a modern screen, you can see very clearly that's a photographic backdrop in the opening scene.
• Compton, you're a bit of an idiot for drinking the water without properly testing it. No wonder you ended up a dead red shirt.
• I'm not entirely sure they really thought much about this accelerated time thing. At the rate things are going as perceived in regular time, it would be many days or weeks from Kirk's perspective.
• The use of the Dutch angle in the accelerated time was a clever idea, in retrospect.
• And it's another Theiss classic outfit, seemingly in danger of popping open but never doing so.
• The acting from the guest cast is pretty poor in this.
• So, you're kidnapping people for the purposes of sex. That would be called out a lot more these days.
• These days, you would use digi-doubles for the scenes where people are frozen in place; here you've got the actors standing as still as they can and trying not to blink.
• Kirk is actually quite clever, leaving the message on the tape and swapping it over like that.
• How are we seeing footage from earlier in the episode when there was no in-universe camera present?
• The final scene is pretty poor, even by comedy episode ending standards.

Conclusion

An interesting concept, not particularly well executed.

4/10

Chris Chibnall, Hold My Beer (Review: 'Doctor Who', "The Giggle")

• Stooky Bill really existed; I believe he might be in the Science Museum's collection now.
• The current version of the opening theme is a great one and I hope it sticks around for a while.
• I've only seen the surviving episode of "The Celestial Toymaker" - it's not got a great reputation in the fanbase. I will probably check out the animated version though.
• I guess that means "The Nightmare Fair" isn't at all canon, but it's not like this show has ever had a firm canon policy for extra-televisual works.
• When the Doctor tells a companion to go back to the TARDIS, you know that the situation is a serious one.
• Great job from David Tennant and Catherine Tate as usual.
• Neil Patrick Harris makes for a great villain; we might not have seen the last of him, but let's not bring the Toymaker back too quickly.
• Wasn't expecting that long a call back to the Steven Moffat era, that's for sure.
• RTD also allows those who didn't like the Chibnall era a good get-out that can explain it away.
• Very good to see Mel back. Not to mention Kate Stewart and Shirley. I wouldn't be surprised if they all turn up in a spin-off as we know Bad Wolf have created a LLC for one.
• This probably could have done with being about ten minutes longer.
• UNIT has really stopped the secrecy, that's for sure.
• Well, I can't say I saw that coming. [spoiler indeed]
• Where's your trousers?
• The Christmas Special looks to be a lot of fun.

Conclusion

RTD has decided that the Timeless Child was something to one-up and gave us this ending. Fortunately, unlike Chris Chibnall, he's got the writing skills to make it work.

9/10

Midnight 2: Electric Donna-loo (Review: 'Doctor Who', "Wild Blue Yonder")

• The Issac Newton scene at the beginning... wasn't really that great. It could have been dropped entirely and the episode would not have suffered for it.
• Have they added some more piano to the opening titles?
• As an episode fundamentally involving just two actors, this relies heavily on the acting skills of its leads. Lesser leads could have sunk this episode quite badly.
• David Tennant is a superb actor, able to demonstrate subtle nuances in his portrayal i.e. the doubles not getting things quite rate.
• Catherine Tate is also a lot better than many have historically given her credit because of her tendency to do comedic roles. She does a very good job here.
• I was very much reminded of "Midnight" from 2008, which doesn't have very much of Donna in by virtue of the filming lengths at the time.
• Awful lot of corridor action here, that's for sure.
• Even with Disney money, the CGI did look a bit silly.
• Clearly they're saving on the actor budget, throwing that to the other two specials in this particular "season".
• Great final scene, with the much-missed Bernard Cribbins making what would be his final appearance on the show and reminding us how great Wilfred Mott was. Rest in Peace, Mr. Cribbins.

Conclusion

 

Not quite as strong as the previous week, but still very good.

7/10

So, next week brings the regeneration...

RTD is back, for good and for ill (Review: 'Doctor Who', "The Star Beast")

• Having a snazzy Marvel-esque introduction sequence is a bit odd. It's even odder when you know that the Doctor is a Marvel character by virtue of Doctor Who Magazine having been published by Marvel's UK arm - including the 1980 comic this is an adaptation of!
• The title sequence is showing the increased budget that Disney are bringing to the show. It looks spectacular and the new theme is a grower.
• David Tennant has stepped back into the role like he never went away. Of course, he's done Big Finish audio dramas - with Catherine Tate as well - but that's different to a full physical performance.
• Catherine Tate as Donna Noble is a companion you don't forget in a hurry. She's got a big personality, a very expressive face, and a gift for reactions. Her relationship to the Doctor is more a friendship one rather than a potential lover one, like Thirteen and Yaz.
• The resolution of Donna's metacrisis issue was very RTD in style. See "The Last of the Time Lords" for one of the more egregious examples of resolving a plot issue.
• Yasmine Finney as Rose does a particularly good job - there's a great character that really deserves some appearances in audio, because I doubt she'll be getting many in live-action.
• 56 scientific advisors? That sounds like an alarmingly high turnover rate, like Spın̈al Tap's drummers.
• Plenty of good gags here, including the psychic paper not updating for the Doctor now being male presenting.
• We've not got any "regeneration crisis" stuff this time - there's already been a comics story with the Daleks that is "canon" as far as you can get here. It wasn't needed in any event. If we get it with Fifteen, it shouldn't be too long.
• Beep the Meep is an adorable villain, but I had more fun with one in Star Trek: Lower Decks.

Conclusion

A highly enjoyable story that while not the best story for a new fan to jump on, proves to be a pleasing 60th anniversary tale.

8/10

60 Years of Doctor Who

Today marks the 60th anniversary of the first episode of Doctor Who. In terms of longevity and impact on science fiction, only the Star Trek franchise beats it.

I haven't seen all the available episodes, but they are all now on iPlayer. I also intend to watch the colour version of "The Daleks", although probably tomorrow. 

Then we have three specials over the next three Saturdays with David Tennant. I will try to watch those as close to live as possible and hopefully review them here.

Many happy returns to a great show!

Let's Make MST3K Season 14

In case you're not aware, Mystery Science Theater 3000 is crowdfunding for a 14th season.

It's one of my favourite shows, but it's going to be a challenge to get the money, so they need all the help they can get. Otherwise, there might not be a new season or they'll need corporate backers that might restrict their jokes.

Please take a look and hopefully you'll back it.

That kiss is a lot darker than people seem to remember (Review: 'Star Trek' 3.10, "Plato's Stepchildren)

• That is one clumsy bit of opening exposition. Oof.
• The cold open is badly rushed.
• Having the big shadow turn out to be a dwarf is well... I wasn't entirely comfortable with it. Alexander is a good character though.
• Psychokinetic delirium is a good concept.
• Kirk's statement about Starfleet's views on equality would have resonated particularly strongly at this time, with the backdrop of the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination and the election of the bigoted Richard Nixon earlier in November 1968.
• This plot wouldn't be out of place in an episode of Lower Decks, but there's a strong element of horror to the story as well. In fact, it was not aired in the UK until 1993 because of the torture elements in the story.
• The wire handlers must have had a field day. Which reminds me, I need to ask a question on Reddit...
• Lot of hamming it up here, even by TOS standards. The cast also get to show off their dancing and singing skills.
• This was not the first interracial kiss on American television. It wasn't even Shatner's first interracial kiss on television. That said, we barely see any lip contact, with the story cutting away very quickly. There's a whole long discussion about that which you can find on Wikipedia. Also, it's not consensual for either party.
• How powerful Parmen actually is varies - sometimes he can control multiple people, sometimes he has difficulty controlling one. Also, how does a population of 38 not suffer massive inbreeding problems.

Conclusion

A good overall episode, but there are some logical problems. It does have some memorable moments as well.

7/10

Walking update

Unfortunately, my plan to do Sections 18 and 19 of the London Loop back on 27 October got frustrated by a tree coming down on the overhead wires at Clapton, followed by weather warnings. I'm not going to walk in a torrential downpour, it's not fun and it's actually dangerous.

So, with the light and the weather against me, it will likely be February before I can resume this. Maybe March.

Armistice Day 2023

Today marks the 105th anniversary of the end of the fighting in the First World War, with the Armistice at Compiègne resulting in a ceasefire, followed by the Treaty of Versailles the following year.

Events in Gaza and Ukraine in particular have reminded us that war is about destruction. It means the loss of people's homes and businesses, loss of power, food and water. It means unexploded ordnance turning up decades later and entire communities ceasing to exist as anything but memories or photographs.

Most importantly, it means the loss of people's lives, military and civilian alike. Not that the distinction makes much of a difference to the people left behind and the people themselves. Everyone suffers in war, where morality erodes all too quickly in the name of "victory", whatever that is.

We have seen all too well what happens when other people are treated as less than us and we will sadly see yet more of it. All I and others can do is work to reduce the suffering.

We will remember them.