Silent Hunter and the 100mph cupboard (Review of the Caledonian Sleeper and also the Jacobite)

At the beginning of July this year, I took the longest duration train journey that I have taken in my life; while I may well have gone further, that was on a faster train.

It's not as well known as it could be, which is one reason why I'm writing this post, but it's one of the few survivors of a once thriving sector of the rail industry; the sleeper train.

This is the Caledonian Sleeper.

****

Every evening, except for Saturday, at the 1960s concrete affair of London Euston station (which I actually happen to like, although it would have been nice to have retained the Doric Arch), two sixteen-coach trains leave, hauled by electric locomotives, making their way north. Travelling at up to 100 miles per hour, one train splits at Carstairs, portions ending up at Glasgow Central and Edinburgh Waverley.

The other, designated 1S25 in the working timetable, also goes to Edinburgh Waverley, where it splits into three portions, which are hauled by diesel locomotives to their final destinations; Inverness, Aberdeen and Fort William. These is what used to be known as 'through coaches'; now disappeared with multiple units and semi-permanent train sets.

****

There used to be a lot more sleepers in the UK. My 1967-68 British Rail Eastern Region timetable (bought from the second hand book store at the Great Central Railway), from the time when Beeching's axe was chopping up lines all over the country and the West Coast Main Line only had wires up as far as Crewe, has sleeper portions going all over the country to places like Holyhead, Milford Haven, Manchester and Penzance. To quote the timetable:

A conductor travels with every sleeping car and personally services each compartment. He will cally you in the morning and bring you tea (or minerals [I am taking that to mean mineral water]) and biscuits at a nominal charge.

Today there is only the sleeper services from Euston to the five destinations in Scotland and vice-versa, as well as GWR's 'Night Riveria' service from London Paddington to Penzance. The rest have gone, many being cut in the early 1980s when the Mark 1 sleepers were replaced by the Mark 3 version (indeed the last planned batch of the Mark 3 was changed from sleepers to day stock); a famous loss was the 'Night Ferry', which ran from London Victoria to Paris. On the continent, it's not much better; SNCF are cutting their services down to only three and Deutsche Bahn are eliminating all their CityNightLine services later this year; the Austrian state operator will take over some of these.

However, the British one does provide dinner and breakfast.

****

The Euston sleeper services are currently operated by Caledonian Sleeper, an independent train operating company that was split off from Scotrail in 2015 and is currently operated by Serco.

The company operates an array of electric and diesel traction. Primary duty for the electric part of the service is handled by Class 90 locomotives (late 80s built, top speed of 110mph and currently to be found in freight traffic or on Abellio Greater Anglia's London to Norwich expresses) or newer Class 92s. Empty Coaching Stock workings i.e. transporting the coaches back and forth from Euston to the depot at Willesden is typically done by a Class 86 or a Class 87, locomotives of a rather older vintage. Diesel traction is typically handled by hired-in Class 73/9s, re-engineered versions of the Class 73 electro-diesel that is capable of running on both diesel and third rail power; it had much use in the Southern Region on boat trains i.e. trains that were scheduled to connect with ferry services, as well as on the Gatwick Express.

While many of these locomotives are painted in the dark blue Caledonian Sleeper livery, the company has often to hire in locomotives and rolling stock from elsewhere that doesn't feature that livery.

The company does not operate Driving Van Trailers that allow control of a locomotive from the other end of a train without the need to do any uncoupling; therefore you have one of the very rare service train examples of a pre-DVT practice in which one locomotive will pull in a service and another will couple onto the other end to pull it out.

****

You have to book in advance for a sleeper berth; the entire process can be completed through the Caledonian Sleeper website or you can buy a regular ticket and pay a sleeper supplement. Regular tickets are valid, but will necessitate you travelling in the seating coach, with those going to Fort William having to move coaches at Edinburgh as those coaches are detached and another two added for that section of the journey; there isn't the space at Euston for dedicated stock for the Fort William portion.

Aside from the seating section, you have two basic options; First Class or Standard class. First Class involves having a berth with a single bed, while Standard involves having two beds in a bunk bed style. The berths are in fact easily convertible from First Class to Standard Class. They come with a washbasin, adjustable heating (which I had to twiddle a few times to achieve a comfortable temperature) and some fixed hangars, but the toilet is at the end of the cabin. Disabled toilets are present in some carriages.

The cost varies depending on day and whether you want ticket flexibility; First Class costs more, but in Standard Class you may have to share with a stranger of the same gender. I chose First Class, because that's not my cup of tea. You also get a free breakfast, a complimentary Arran Aromatics amenity kit (body wash) shampoo and priority access to the lounge car.

Both of the sleeping berth types are contained in the aforementioned Mark 3 sleeper cars. These are made up of either twelve or thirteen berths; the former case there will either be a disabled toilet or a room for the attendant. The Mark 3 is a very common sight on British railways in some form due to its use on the High Speed Trains i.e. the InterCity 125; notable features include the need to lower the window and reach outside to push the handle when exiting the train.

As a railway enthusiast, I am well used to working those.

****

1S25 departs from London Euston at 2115 from Platform 1, but you can get into your cabin 45 minutes before departure. It arrives at Fort William at 0955 the following morning, a journey time of 12 hours and 40 minutes, which is not the longest possible journey in the UK - that is 1V60, the 0820 Aberdeen to Penzance service that takes 13 hours and 23 minutes.

The Fort William portion is at the far end of the train and my carriage (there were three sleeper cars for Fort William) was right next to the locomotive, itself a Class 90 bedecked in Freightliner Grey. The security fence stopped me from getting any better pictures.

You may notice a former '1' there; some of the locomotives were converted to freight working and had their top speed lowered to 75mph becoming Class 90/1; they have since been converted back to their original configuration.

The train departed about a minute late and soon got up to a decent lick of speed as it headed out of London. The service normally runs at 80 miles per hour, but can run at up to 100mph if it needs to make up time and the line speed allows it; this especially applies on the southbound service as it needs to run to time or it will cause delays to rush hour trains. The view from your berth is rather restricted once it gets dark; there's not much to see between towns. There's also a pretty poor mobile signal in many places...

I like to ride in the vestibule (that's the bit at the end of the carriages where the doors are) sometimes, standing by the open window - I don't stick my head out, I'm not stupid - and I can tell that there is quite a bit of wind force when a Pendolino goes past you in the opposite direction at full tilt; so basically at a relative speed of over 200mph.

As you can see below, the corridor at the side of the berths is pretty narrow; only wider enough to fit one person in; moving between the carriages, you frequently have to go into empty compartments to allow other people to pass.

With my gear stashed in my berth, I tried to go to the lounge car, only to find that it was full up and I would have to come back later. If you're not booked for dinner, it's turn up and see if there's room.

About the berth; I was swapped to another one from my originally booked choice and this one had some issues. Namely a faulty blind that took some effort to get to open and difficulty lifting the catch that holds the door open.

Also, it was fairly hard to get the door to close; I had to reach down and flick a catch at the bottom to unhook the door. You can lock the berth door for safety and security; however, you will need to find the attendant to let you back in if you lock it and leave. This person - in my case a lady with a Scottish accent (there are a lot of Scots on the service) - is not always the easiest person to find until you realise where the attendant's cabin actually is.

There is a lot that could be explained for people in a free leaflet. Like that you're not allowed to take photographs in the lounge car for privacy reasons; something there was no sign for, but which I was told by a member of staff.

I would point out that the leather sofas as depicted on the site were only present in the Inverness portion (at least on the journey back) and in my case, I was in an older format of the British Rail Mark 2E buffet car. In the absence of my own photo, this picture from another enthusiast will suffice. They're old, but remain very elegant.

The seats, which I believe are the IC70 design (but I may be wrong on that), can recline back, but are difficult to get comfortable with my proportions.

One area in which the sleeper can be truly recommended is in the quality of the food. Despite the fact that they only actually have a microwave in the 'galley', all of the food itself is of high quality, sourced locally and tastes very nice indeed. Portions are small, but very filling.

I can't, however, say that I got the best night's sleep of my life. The rocking motion of the train, combined with a constant squeaking noise, probably from the coupling to the locomotive ahead of me, made it difficult to drop off properly and I woke up on a number of occasions. Most notably at Edinburgh Waverley, where the locomotive was changed over and we reversed direction - I also had to sort out an issue with my phone. The three Fort William sleeper cars were detached being attached to another lounge car and seated car before heading away as service 1Y11.

Waking up fully the following morning, the scenery outside my window as we wound our way down the (single with passing loops) line from Helensburgh Upper to Fort William was truly spectacular.

It was like Westeros with more telephone wires and fewer battles.

I had breakfast in the lounge car, which is worth remarking on here. Due to problems with their own rolling stock, Serco have hired in two coaches from another company... which look rather old-fashioned. The lounge car was in the old Virgin Trains red and black livery (no longer used by them - image from this blog).

However, the seated car, used by day passengers as well, looks like this:

That's right... that's a British Rail livery.

The Class 73s, however - the train was double-headed - looked brand new-ish:

Fort William itself is a nice looking town with superb scenery but with very little to do for a tourist, not helped by the rather bad weather encountered while I was there.

I visited the West Highland Museum, which is an excellent detailing of the (at times rather bloody) history of the local area, which in the 'recent' past played host to training for the Special Operation Executive.

I also went over to nearby Corpach to visit a mediocre rock museum, which was really just an excuse to 'bash' a couple of Scotrail Class 156 Sprinters, getting off at this particular stop on the line that I was going to be traversing in full on the following day.

Loch Eil Outward Bound isn't a request stop - there are two on the West Highland Line, IIRC - but had only 632 passengers total in the 2014/15 financial year (the latest for which data was available). I added two to the 2016/17 total as I bought tickets to there and back from the guard on the train.

The station only has a single tiny platform; the four-car service could only fit one and a half carriages in it.

This was on the Tuesday. The following Wednesday, I went on this service.

The Jacobite, which is its current name, dates back to 1984, when British Rail introduced a steam-hauled tourist service in the summer months to boost income on what was otherwise a line that required a heavy subsidy; the section of the West Highland Line going from Fort William to Mallaig.

The regular service is patchy to put it mildly; there are three daily return services from Mallaig to Glasgow Queen Street (reversing at Fort William) run by the aforementioned Class 156s. Many of the stations, not just the aforementioned Corpach, see less than 10,000 passengers a year. A thought occurred to me that this is what many lines might have ended up as an alternative to being shut under the Beeching Axe - while Beeching did not in fact propose the closure of this line, he did propose eliminating the stopping service.

(I downloaded a copy of the two-volume report, which also proposed the closure of the Romford-Upminster line and the Gospel Oak-Barking lines in my local area; both survived and have since thrived)

Currently run by West Coast Railways (who have had their own safety issues lately and two network bans, since lifted), the Jacobite consists of one or two return services from Fort William to Mallaig. The morning service, which I went one, is hauled by a 'Black Five', more formally known as a Class 5 4-6-0. Designed by William Stanier for the London, Midland and Scottish Railway, 842 of these mixed traffic locomotives were built between 1934 and 1951. 18 of these have survived into preservation; four currently having mainline clearance and being used to haul rail tours - or this service, which has two of them.

The morning service consists of British Rail Mark 1s, that ubiquitous feature of heritage railways (they were what happened to be available when many of them got started up). Developed after the war as a 'standard' coach for British Railways, they combined the features of pre-nationalisation stock and their all steel construction made them considerably safer then their predecessors, although they are not up to modern standards. Indeed many a multiple unit was also based on the design.

The afternoon service uses the 1960s Mark 2; distinguishable by their rounded ends as opposed to the flatter ones of the Mark 1s. West Coast Railways corporate livery is a maroon recreation of the original BR livery... which I think looks rather odd on a Mark 2, as they were nearly all painted Blue/Grey on first build. However, I am informed that the first batch was in maroon or Southern Region green.

It is highly recommended to buy your tickets in advance, which come with a seat reservation - there are limited numbers available on the day. First Class passengers are in compartments and standard class uses open saloons in refurbished form. Some personal pictures from elsewhere:

There is a buffet car, a trolley service and an on-board souvenir shop that sells a fair amount of Harry Potter related stuff, but be aware that it doesn't take credit or debit cards. A guidebook is available.

The journey goes through some truly spectacular landscape, but it is rather difficult to take pictures as there are a large number of trees next to the line; no sooner had I got my camera on to take a picture there was some foliage in the way. Here's the best of the shots.

On the outward leg, the train stops for about 20 minutes at Glenfinnan, partly to let a service train past on the passing loop; having a slight delay before fully pulling in to let the Sprinter come in to the other platform. The station has a camping coach, a small museum (which I didn't have time to visit) and an array of old posters.

The Black 5 gets up to a fair lick of speed; around 50 miles per hour. I really seeing these old locomotives in their native environment, doing what they were meant to do; they're only generally allowed to do 25 on heritage lines.

Mallaig itself is quite frankly a rather dull town.

The museum wasn't worth paying the price of admission to go on, the most exciting thing in town is the ferry out of there or the station and the mobile signal is non-existent. In the end, I found out the outcome of the Iraq War Inquiry via my MP3 player's radio.

The local places to eat filled up very quickly with people from the train and I eventually ended up eating takeaway chips in the station waiting area. I also had a can of Irn-Bru and am now a real fan of the drink, so that's one benefit of the trip.


The journey back is slightly quicker - no stop at Glenfinnan and the views are equally as great, but the weather was getting worse at this point.

Here's a video of the train in action that I recorded on the Tuesday in Corpach.

I caught the sleeper train back that evening, which leaves Fort William at 1950 and is designated 1B01 until it gets to Edinburgh, joining the other portions to become 1M16 arriving at Euston at 0747 the following morning - passengers may stay in their compartments for a further thirteen minutes. There is no First Class lounge in the station at Fort William, but there is free Wi-Fi for passengers in the waiting area.

I'd booked dinner for the train back and I have to say that this was superb. I even paid extra for dessert; the portions are somewhat small, but sumptuous.

The train was running half an hour late on its initial stage of the journey - I found out this was due to a brake issue. The sleeping wasn't particularly better the second time around; this is going to be something of an acquired skill... and I slept through the Great Storm of 1987 as a kid!

Due to a lack of space and time, my cooked breakfast was given to me by the attendant in my compartment - not easy to eat it on the bed, but the meal was again very nice. Next time, ask them to hold the black pudding - I had to scrape it out of the way.

The delay overnight was quickly made up once we switched to electric traction - it also seems that we arrived at Edinburgh second because our portion was in the middle of the train rather than the Scotland end. In fact, we arrived early at Euston!

Conclusion

The Caledonian Sleeper is a nice train fulfilling a necessary and useful function in the British railway system, but at the moment it's not as good as it could be. In particular, more information is needed for first-timers. The Mark 3 carriages are probably past it and while I would go on this again, I am planning to wait until the new CAF carriages are in service in 2018.

Mind you, the pillow spray I got for free has proved very useful, but it also appears to have given me weird dreams...

7/10

The Jacobite itself is well worth doing in itself and should definitely be on a rail enthusiast's 'bucket list'.


9/10

Funky Mucus (Review: 'Star Trek' 1.29, "Operation -- Annihilate!")

 Remember folks - catch it, bin it, kill it!

I am posting this on 8 September 2016, the 50th anniversary of the transmission of the first episode of Star Trek, "The Man Trap". It is a testament to the creativity of the late Gene Roddenberry and all else involved that this anniversary is being marked with a cinematic movie currently in theatres and a new TV series in pre-production.

This show has indeed lived long and prospered. Happy Anniversary, Star Trek.

****

The remote colony world of Deneva has gone out of contact (this sort of thing seems to happen a lot) and the Enterprise finds it is in the path of a group of outbreaks of civilisation-destroying insanity, evidenced by a guy flying his ship into the sun... To make things harder for Kirk, the world is home to his brother and his family.

****

I'll start with the first thought that came to my head when the away party beamed down onto the planet - "That looks like a university campus". In fact, while there was an establishing shot done at UCLA, the outside filming was done at the TRW Space and Defense Park in Redondo Beach, home to major aerospace research work, including development of US ICBMs. The company was bought by Northrop Grumman in 2002. So, it is a campus, but of a different variety.

Kirk is arguably the weak link in this episode; possibly as some of his material was cut. He could have been hit harder by what was going on in the story (it's not a great day for him), but he goes back to rather high joviality by the end. Spock and McCoy get better material, with a big role (not to mention big hair) for Majel Barrett as Nurse Chapel.

There seems to have been done on the relative cheap; there's only a few non-regulars in the episode and many don't get lines. In particular, we get some rather bad over-acting from Joan Swift as Kirk's sister-in-law.

We had the huge space pizza a few weeks back and now we get flying giant lumps of snot. Unlike "Devil in the Dark", there is no attempt to communicate with this thing, the crew just decide it has to be wiped out, whatever the cost.

The solution to their problem, after some genuine peril involving Spock - attack with a giant hoop thing aside - is one of those things where the science has matched on; doing what they do is likely to cause a lot of cancer later on. Also the units of measurement have changed - McCoy uses 'candles' as a light unit, whereas we now use lumens as standard. That's lumens, not lupins, thank you.

Finally, we have a final scene on the bridge that is actually funny for a change.

Conclusion

A highly enjoyable episode, if it does seem to be done somewhat on the cheaper side and contains some fairly large flaws.

7/10 

Mechanical Rice Picker for Sale, One Careless Owner (Review: 'Star Trek' 1.28, "The City at the Edge of Forever")

He's just watched "The Alternative Factor".

The penultimate episode of Season 1 of Star Trek is a lot better than the dog's breakfast of "The Alternative Factor". In fact, it won the show's second Hugo Award for Best Dramatic Presentation (the other nominees were all TOS episodes as well!) at a time when there was not a separate category for TV episodes and also a WGA award. Many consider it the best episode of the entire run... in fact of the entire franchise.

It probably has one of the most famous guest stars of the show's history as well.

****

A series of freak temporal disturbances leads to an Exploding Bridge Console (TM) going off in Sulu's face and McCoy giving himself an accidental overdose, going crazy. He beams down to the planet that is the source of the disturbances and after going through a talking time portal, ends up changing history... so the Enterprise no longer exists. Kirk and Spock have to go after him and reverse the damage...

****

We get a classic opening, involving the good old "Starship Acting" - with one extra rather out of time to everyone else - and Kelley getting a chance to chew on the scenery that hasn't already been munched by Shatner.

This is the second episode of Star Trek involving time travel and we get the tremendously fun sight of our two leads (DeForest Kelley not being in the title sequence at the time) having to go undercover in 1930 New York to await the arrival of McCoy so they can prevent him from changing history. This allows for a truly hilarious scene in which after stealing some clothes, Kirk and Spock are confronted by a policeman. Kirk passes Spock off as a Chinese man whose ears are the result of a childhood accident with a 'mechanical rice picker'. There are plenty of other great scenes, including one sad scene demonstrating why you shouldn't play with a phaser if you don't know what you're doing and Spock knocking Angus MacGyver into a cocked hat. Nimoy does great sarcasm as well.

Kirk (who brings out his Concerned Face a number of times) discovers the source of the problem, a social worker called Edith Keeler... and you guessed it, he falls in love with her. Keeler is played by Joan Collins (now 83 and Dame Joan Collins) who employs a sort of very clear American diction you don't really see with actresses from the US today.

This episode is another case of using your friendly neighbourhood back-lot - in this case, the final appearance of the 40 Acres set - signs from The Andy Griffith Show are apparently visible. It also had more money spent on it than any other episode of Season 1 and it shows.



The ending is reminiscent of the Doctor Who episode "Father's Day", but I have to admit I wasn't particularly moved by it, probably because it's been often imitated since. Another case of Trek writing the clichés and looking clichéd as a result.

Conclusion

A very strong episode of the show indeed with some vintage comedy, but I wasn't sold on all of it. I would personally consider other episodes better, but I can see the acclaim.

8/10

They Picked The Wrong Alternative (Review: 'Star Trek' 1.27, "The Alternative Factor")

Star Trek can be an uneven affair at times; any show with over 80 episodes is bound to have a few clunkers and sadly, this is definitely one of them.

As such, I am not going to dignify this misbegotten tale with a picture.

****

While mapping a strange new world, the Enterprise is shaken by a mysterious phenomenon... then a human is spotted on the other wise empty planet. Beaming down, Kirk encounters a gentlemen called Lazarus with a crazy beard and an equally crazy tale to tell...

****

I got bored during this one, badly bored. There are parts of this story that are, as Spock would put it, illogical. Like not believing McCoy when you've encountered a plethora of strange stuff previously and failing to adequately secure key parts of the ship when dealing with an escaped crazy person.

There's a decent potential plot out there, but it's so badly done that the story completely collapses and you lose all empathy or interest in the character of Lazarus, who sports a completely unconvincing fake beard. Producing a negative emotional reaction in an audience can be a sign of a good character if they're meant to be annoying... but producing next to none at all is a sign of a bad one.

Much of the blame has to fall on Robert Brown, who was a last minute replacement for John Drew Barrymore, father of that Drew Barrymore, who failed to show up to filming, got a six month suspension from the Screen Actor's Guild as a result and whose career never recovered; he also had major substance abuse problems, like his father and two of his children, including Drew. Brown is, if we're being honest, really poor in this. He badly overacts throughout much of the episode.

Before Brown was brought in, this episode was on the verge of being canned. It should have been.

Conclusion

Can't say I like this one at all. It's clear why this isn't particularly well-remembered; it's not very good. Indeed, many consider it among the worst of Star Trek. I'll let you know if any worse come up.

3/10

majQa' tlhInganpu'! (Review: 'Star Trek', 1.26 "Errand of Mercy")

 

Hey, is that a targ?

 Or "Welcome to the Klingons!" In this, the 26th episode of the first season of Star Trek, the most iconic aliens in the history of the franchise make their debut.

However, their language doesn't, nor do the forehead ridges... more on that later.

****

When war breaks out between the United Federation of Planets and the Klingon Empire, the Enterprise is sent to the peaceful planet of Organia to prevent the latter from getting their hands on a key strategic location. However, the local leadership is completely unwilling to allow Kirk to help them and in due course, the Klingons occupy the planet.

****

I'll start by pointing out that McCoy isn't in this episode, nor is Scotty. It would have been interesting to see how Bones reacted to the bat'leth brigade here, although those weapons don't turn up until The Next Generation.

It is important to place this story in its historical context. "Errand of Mercy" aired on 23 March 1967. The Cuban crisis was 4 1/2 years previously and there would be a serious set of clashes between the USSR and China in 1969. The Six-Day War would occur that summer. It was a rather tense time in global history, to put it mildly.

So with the Federation cast as the Americans, it becomes a fairly simple case of seeing the Klingons as the Soviet Union or Red China in this series... but a bit less so in their debut.

I've previously mentioned that the Second World War was still very much in living memory for those making the show and the Klingons here are portrayed as rather akin to the Nazis, taking hostages and making the local government implement their orders. Commander Kor, the military governor here, would not be out of place in a SS uniform (the Klingons wear jackboots), calmly drinking champagne as he shoots a captured resistance fighter with a Luger P08 pistol. If this was broadcast today, you'd almost certainly have a helpline number given out at the end of the credits; there would be those watching who had encountered real life 'Klingons'.

Kirk and Spock therefore end up acting as a mini-resistance against the Klingons, blowing up a munitions dump with a 'sonic grenade', which is probably no relation to a sonic screwdriver. It's a rather enjoyable tale of 'derring-do' reminiscent of a comic book at times.

Knowing the twist in this episode actually makes it better, because you can see all the little details. That said, the twist does raise further questions related to future events in the franchise and also is notable in a prediction becoming entirely true.

Anyway, back to the Klingons. They would become the main antagonists for the Federation in TOS, mainly because it was easier to do the make-up than the Romulans. John Colicos (half Greek, half Canadian - who also played Count Baltar in the original Battlestar Galactica and Mikkos Cassadine in General Hospital in a long career) who played Kor, came up with the distinctive look, intending to invoke Genghis Khan, although Khan lacked the crazy eyebrows. Many of the Klingons just look like they've used the wrong sort of bronzer to me... there are of course unfortunate racial implications, especially with the Fu Manchu style moustache of Kor, although he doesn't use a silly accent.

However, the Klingons would rise far above that (indeed many Klingons don't have dark make up in TOS, although all the key ones were played by white actors), even if it wouldn't be for a while. The forehead ridges don't come until the movies; I would also point out the Klingon ships seen here are CGI add-ins for the remastered version.

Conclusion

A classic debut for a classic race.

9/10

Orange is the New Red (Review: Star Trek 1.25, "The Devil in the Dark")

When I wanted my pizza zapped... I didn't mean it like this

I had hoped to get the entirety of the original series watched by 9 September - the show's 50th anniversary - but I'll just have to make do with Season 1 instead. So, after a long break, we go back to the 23rd century...

****

The Enterprise crew answer a distress call from a mining facility that has had a large number of men killed by a mysterious creature that burns them to a crisp... as they investigate, they also have to find a missing element of the reactor to prevent the colony's destruction.

****

I'm going to start by commenting that this is a particularly good episode for red shirt deaths - and also orange shirt deaths - most of the miners wear orange and the first to die in the pre-credits teaser, which is of a variety you frequently find in modern day Doctor Who, is indeed wearing orange.

Kirk has a strong episode; for a start he doesn't get distracted by any scantily-clad women in this one. I'm sure I've said before that Kirk is far more than just a Zap Branigan; he is a thoughtful and authoritative commander, who feels genuine sadness at the death of yet another redshirt. Shatner's father died during the production of this episode; he insisted on continuing filming until the episode wrapped before departing.

Spock also does well, but gets a bit inconsistent with this views towards the creature in question - going from hoping to capture it to telling Kirk to kill it when he encounters it a tad too quickly for my liking.

This is a great McCoy episode as well; he's wonderfully grumpy but improvises brilliantly at the end; we even get an 'I'm a doctor, not a X..." line from him.

The miners (all men - there is no female character with a speaking part in this episode with Uhura absent along with Sulu - the sole case of this in the entirety of TOS) are your standard sort, none of whom are particularly memorable in any way.

For an episode entitled "The Devil in the Dark" this is rather over-lit and clearly done in a studio - the floor is too flat for one thing. Having just watched an episode of Killjoys with a similar setting, I can safely say things have improved in that department.

Lastly, onto the creature itself... I laughed when I first saw, because it resembles a giant overcooked pizza. It turns out that the creature itself is very intelligent and has a good reason for acting this way; the story is a well worn trope and pretty obvious to modern viewers, but it still holds up well. I also realised I've seen it elsewhere - in the Trexels mobile game in fact!

Conclusion

While not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, this is an enjoyable slice (no pun intended) of Star Trek.

8/10

Rio 2016

While not exactly the greatest Games ever - there were a lot of issues with attendances and the cost of hosting this thing really needs to be looked at (get the sponsors to stump up more cash or cut the event numbers down) - the Olympics were by no means a total disaster and Rio de Janeiro can be pleased with what was put on.

A spectacular performance by Team GB, beating our own 2012 performance - who would have thought we would have beaten the Chinese on the medal table? This is the result of 20 years of hard work and heavy investment in elite sport. However, many of these wins were people retaining their titles from 2012 and we need to make sure that we have good enough people coming forward for the future.

Also, the New Year's Honours are going to be very interesting this year. Sir Mo Farah? Now that's as far away from his Somali origins as you can get.

Well done to him and all the others.

Bring Back British Rail?

Today we learn how much regulated rail fares are due to go up in January. The rise in fares has led to calls for renationalisation.

Rail use has doubled in the last twenty years, but the infrastructure hasn't kept up with it.

I am not sure that renationalisation is necessary the best way to do it - considering the experience of British Rail.

I must admit I am too young to remember much of it - my commuter experience began well after privatisation. So I can only go from what I have read and my own experiences on c2c, TfL Rail, Abellio Greater Anglia and the London Underground.

So here are my thoughts/observations
* I have experienced far worse overcrowding on the London Underground than on any of the privatised lines. In particular, the Central Line is a living argument for Crossrail.
* My recollections of the Class 312 were that is was rather grotty. The Class 357 Electrostar (and the other trains in the family) may be a bit boring, but at least it is clean.
* No-one seems to ask regular users of SNCF and DB what they think of their services.
* Many of the safety issues over Driver Only Operation are addressable with improved technology. That said, I would prefer to have a second staff member on a train.
* In the twenty years before privatisation (1975-1994), 150 people were killed in train collisions and other accidents; not counting 'one under' suicides. In the twenty years since (1995-2014), it was 85 and the last ten years has seen a number of years with no deaths whatsoever.
* BR did many good things, but the Beeching Axe was definitely not one of them - they were continuing to cut lines and services into the 1980s. Our capacity issues would be a lot easier if the Great Central Railway was still open; alas there is now too much of Nottingham in the way now.
* Dining services have reduced massively, but the railway operators have caused that by the proliferation of shops on the stations themselves, which sell food at cheaper prices.
* Yes, there needs to be an increased emphasis on passenger service over profit.
* A nationalised system would be far more subject to political whims than the current system. What interest does a Labour government have in rural Norfolk or Cornwall?
* The much-maligned Pacer was a BR product.
* Rail subsidy has gone up since privatisation; private companies do need to make a profit - we are now having problems with getting bidders for franchises. The Big Four had to rely on newspaper traffic to break even.
* Under the proposed Labour scheme of taking each franchise into public ownership, only four would go back by 2025. With Labour's current leadership, getting into power to do even that is unlikely.

If nationalisation could be made to work in a way that didn't see cuts in services as happened under BR, I would favour it. But I need convincing.

An update

I've not disappeared - just had a lot on lately. I'm currently working slowly on a review of the Caledonian Sleeper train; this will appear hopefully by the end of the month.

Nice

At least 84 people have been killed in a terrorist attack in Nice involving a truck being driven into a crowd.

Can we please stop killing each other for stupid reasons?

Well, I won't be calling the refund department (Review: 'Ghostbusters', 2016)

Now I've made my moans about remakes in the past and I'm going to take them back. While some remakes are unnecessary wastes of time, this one most certainly isn't.

****
When a female-led remake/reboot of the 1984 comedy classic Ghostbusters was announced, it was controversial to put it mildly. I won't go into all the sordid details here; Google will be able to help you.

I decided that I would wait until the reviews came out and decide whether to see it at the cinema or wait for a video release. The reviews have been pretty positive from many quarters, so I made my way to my 'local' (Vue Cinemas in Romford) on Wednesday to see it.

****
Ghostbusters revolves around Erin Gilbert (Kirsten Wiig), a professor who discovers that her old friend Abigail 'Abby' Jones (Melissa McCarthy) has published a book that they wrote five years earlier on ghosts without her permission. When she goes to confront her about this  she finds herself teaming up with Abby and her nuclear scientist friend Jillian to investigate a haunting at an old mansion. The trio, teaming up with a subway worker, find themselves facing the threat of a paranormal invasion of New York.

****
One thing that went through my mind while watching this movie is 'this is a femcom'; the film does feel very much aimed at women in its overall tone and depiction of the male characters. It also might explain the gender divide in the reviews.

Anyway, the plot is rather different from the original as the Ghostbusters find themselves having to deal with internet trolls, bureaucrats a hostile media and sky high property prices. Not to mention a crazed man out to unleash chaos on the city.

The movie in itself takes a little while to get fully going, but once it does, it's a real (proton gun) blast. I had a big grin on my face throughout much of the film, especially the action packed finale, which features stuff that wasn't possible effects wise back in 1984. There are also a set of wonderful cameos from the surviving leads of the original film; as well as a nice tribute to the late Harold Ramis (Egon) who died in 2014.

The four leads are not carbon copies of the original team; each is their own original character.

Erin is the 'straight woman' of the piece; managing to keep her cool despite everything that gets thrown at her, including a large quantity of slime. She also wears the world's smallest bow tie. Bow ties are cool and I like her hair as well.

Not being familiar with Melissa McCarthy's work, I found her pretty funny in this film; she handles the physical comedy very well and has just the right amount of frustration in her performance.

When I saw the first promo picture of Kate McKinnon (currently on Saturday Night Live where she does a great Hillary Clinton) as Jillian Holtzmann, with a shock of blonde hair and chewing gum, I thought 'I'm going to like her'. Looking like Egon, but acting like a crazier version of Venkmann, the gun-licking bit from the trailer isn't the goofiest thing she does in the film; she's a scene-stealing ball of irrepressible adorable energy and Jill is my new favourite Crazy Lady of STEM. Sorry, Root, please don't taser me.

Patty Tolan (Leslie Jones) is the weak link in this film. Criticised for being a black stereotype (although the role was originally intended for McCarthy), she's the 'street smart' member of the team with a strong knowledge of NYC history, but to be honest, I just found her character too shrill for my tastes.

Finally, there's Kevin, the ditzy male receptionist played by Chris Hemsworth, known for playing Thor in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He's really good here and if it wasn't for the presence of McKinnon, he'd steal the show.

Conclusion

While not exactly an Oscar-winner (although you never know, it may get nominations in the technical categories), it really doesn't matter. This is 116 minutes of great fun.

And I mean 116 minutes; make sure you stay right to the end of the credits.

8/10

Prime Minister Theresa May

A very interesting speech; now to see if her words on social injustice are matched by her actions.

Her time as Home Secretary wasn't great, but she may have been constrained by others. Now she has no such constraints.

The state of the Labour Party

Is, simply put, a complete and utter mess.

We have a leader who lacks the support of even 20% of his own MPs, a set of rules for the contest that are effectively forcing new members to pay twice and a culture in which those who voice genuine disagreement are accused of treachery.

In fact, I am at the moment not planning to renew my membership when it expires later this year because I am sick of the whole thing.

The Labour Party is long ceased being a party of actual labour; where are the factory workers, the call centre staff, the train guards in our Parliamentary party? Labour does not listen to its voters (who are more right-wing than some members think) anymore; it arguably hasn't since the 1980s.

One blogger, TSE from Political Betting, has said in his normal cutting way, that Labour couldn't "organise a pregnancy on a council estate".

To be honest, a council estate has fewer arguments.

Please, please, sort this out; the only people this ultimately hurts are the ordinary people of this country.

Corbyn vs. Eagle

So, it appears that we are going to have a second Labour leadership contest in the space of two years.

I will have to vote for Eagle in this, because I do not feel that Corbyn has led this party at all effectively. He has made unforced error after unforced error, handing ammunition to the Tories. His activity during the EU referendum was at best misdirected (swing voters don't go to rallies, they have better things to do with their time).

Outside of London, Labour has gone backwards in electoral performance; we need the suburbs and Middle England as Scotland is lost to us. Many of his ideas are good; but he is the wrong man to put them into practice and I have serious concerns about his foreign policy.

I want a united party, but I cannot follow Corbyn to what will likely be the destruction of the party.

And this will probably come to pass. If he gets on the ballot, he probably wins and Momentum, an organisation who has not done anything to deal with vile abuse from its members against those who disagree, will go after the 172 MPs who voted for the no confidence motion. That splits the party.

If Corbyn is not on the ballot, his supporters (and possibly some MPs), will probably form their own party.

Eagle has many problems, but she is better than Corbyn

The only way to avoid this is for Corbyn to stand down and for us to find a new leader acceptable to both camps. Sadly I doubt that will happen.

Thoughts on Chilcot

Knowing in 2003 what I know now, I would not have backed the UK involvement in Iraq.

It is clear that the invasion itself was massively mishandled and could have been put back at least a year.

That said, Tony Blair and George W Bush,   the former of which appears to have  had good intentions, are not solely responsible for the chaos in Iraq.

Saddam himself created a toxic cauldron of sectarian hatred that the Coalition opened. Iraqis who should have been working together to make a better country engaged in corruption and score settling instead. Terrorists decided to attack civilians instead of actual troops.

There was no conspiracy (I could have done a better job at organising it) but instead a massive chain of failure by many people.

And the innocent, as always, suffered for it.

Pray for your leaders that they do not make more mistakes like this.

Don't be fooled by the Ankh that she's got, she's still Jenny in Half a Frock (Review: 'Logan's Run', 1976)

Jenny Agutter, to me, is Sister Julienne in Call the Midwife. I'm somewhat surprised she's only 63, because it seems like she's been a part of British media for longer than I can remember, most notably in The Railway Children.

So, watching Logan's Run via Amazon Video, it was a bit of a surprise to see her as a twenty something starlet... in an outfit less Call the Midwife and more Call the Cardic Nurse, Stat!

Anyway, more on that later.

****

Logan's Run is loosely based on the 1967 novel of the same name by William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson, albeit with some heavy changes.

In the year 2274, the remnants of humanity live hedonistic lifestyles in a sealed city run by a computer. It's a idyllic life if you like free love... but the drawback is that you die at 30; either by vaporisation in a strange ritual or if you try to run, via the Sandmen, the city's human law enforcement.

When one runner, Logan-5, hears of a rumoured safe home for runners 'called' Sanctuary via a woman called Jessica-6, the computer assigns him to find it and destroy it, making him a Runner as well in the process...

This review contains some spoilers.

Further thoughts on Brexit

1. A lot of the tone of the exit negotiations is going to be determined by who takes over as Prime Minister. Boris Johnson is probably not the best leader to ensure they go smoothly.
2. There will have to be a tradeoff between access to the single market and any controls on EU immigration. A contribution to the EU budget may well be needed.
3. The EU needs serious reform and quickly if it is to avoid more people leaving.
4. Jeremy Corbyn needs to go for the good of Labour. He is toxic in our traditional heartlands.
5. There remains a fundamental disconnect between the Establishment and ordinary people in this country.
6. 28% of voters didn't vote. That is a problem.
7. A rejoining is theoretically possible but politically impossible for at least a generation.
8. The political culture in this country is far too toxic.
9. Scottish independence must now be considered a strong possibility.
10. The polling industry in this country managed to do even worse than the General Election.

 

The UK votes LEAVE

Well, that happened. Now all of us - the whole  world - will have to deal with the consequences and adjust appropriately.

I'm disappointed but philosophical. Burgundy isn't a nice colour for a passport anyway.

Vote Remain

This long, unpleasant campaign finally comes to an end on Thursday and by breakfast on Friday, we will know whether Great Britain has chosen to remain in the European Union.

I would like us to stay in and will vote as such when I cast my ballot on Thursday.

Is the EU perfect? Most certainly not; it has made many mistakes. That whole "moving to Strasbourg thing" for examples.

But those mistakes are far outweighed by its practical benefits. The right to live and work freely in any member state actually benefits more British people in the rest of the EU than other EU nationals here. It makes many collaborative projects, especially media ones, much easier to do. Game of Thrones would be a lot harder to make if you had to apply for work permits for all of the cast and crew, who hail from many nations.

Also, the existence of the EU has been a force for democracy in other parts of Europe - nations have had to crack down on corruption and improve human rights to get in.

Vote Leave haven't been clear about their alternative and there is no guarantee that the organisation they dislike so much will agree to their proposals. 'Control our borders' would basically mean making it harder for our business to get skilled labour from anywhere bar the UK as all foreigners would need work permits, not just non-EU ones. It would also make it harder for those here who wish to work and study abroad.

They say that the rest of the EU ignores us; maybe it's because we haven't tried hard enough to work with others to improve things.

I am a Briton, but I am also a European; I believe in working together to solve our common problems, not pulling up the drawbridge.

Vote Remain.

Jo Cox 1974-2016

The Labour MP Jo Cox has been murdered in a shooting and stabbing attack in her constituency. She was 41.

The circumstances of the attack have yet to be definitely established, but this appears to have been an attack by a far-right extremist - a man has been arrested. The person responsible for this has no justification for their actions and deserves a whole life sentence.

Rest in Peace.

Orlando

The worst mass shooting in US history has killed at least 50 people in Orlando and appears to be an act of Islamist terrorism.

This world has a lot of incidents like this; incidents where people carry out vile acts because of some warped beliefs or ideology, then end up dead at their own hands or at the hands of security forces. The fact there are so many people - of course one is too many - who want to do this sort of thing, is a source of major concern for me.

My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and those who knew them.

Thoughts on the EU referendum

1. The amount of mud slinging, distortion of the facts and general name calling is far too much. Grown adults should be better than this.
2. There are a lot of faults with the EU, but those are the faults of the people who run it not the institutions themselves. If we had a different Chancellor of Germany, the EU agenda might be quite different.
3. The Commonwealth of Nations contains precisely one other economic powerhouse - India and I doubt there's much of a market out there for many of our goods. The rest are middle ranking at best.
4. Mass immigration will continue as long as there is a clear divide between developed countries and less developed ones. Economic migrants are applying Norman Tebbitt's own 1981 advice and "getting on their bike" to find a better life for themselves.
5. If they don't come here legally, they will come here illegally, with all the consequences that entails.
6. It is not beyond the wit of this government to build the new infrastructure  for an increased population if they weren't so focussed with cutting tax for the wealthy.
7. Greece and Italy did not need bailouts because of the euro, they needed them because of their incompetent governments.
8. Is an EU superstate really that bad a thing?
9. Can the EU do more for workers? Yes it can. However, looking at the Tory government's actions to date, can you really trust them to protect worker rights.
10. Which EU standards are actually a bad thing for us?

The bear and the reaper - US TV season 2015-16 in review

• A lot more early renewals this year; pretty much all of the safe candidates got their new orders in March.
• The CW surprised everyone by renewing all their scripted series in one go; even the less likely prospects with the exception of Containment that had yet to air at that point. That didn't do well enough to survive; unlike the Belgian show it was based on, Cordon, which has been renewed.
• Castle botched the wedding last year... and then did a rather stupid break-up plot. The audience started heading for the exit. Castle and Beckett got back together and audiences stabilised, but the departure of Stana Katic was the final straw for me, along with much of the fanbase. A Beckett-less ninth season would have come in for considerable negative publicity and I'm not surprised that ABC decided not to go ahead with it.
• Of Prophets and Kings became another member of the 'two and axed' club, the most ignominious fate a TV show can suffer; those gone after one will at least attract some notoriety.
• I really don't know what made CBS take such an exception to Person of Interest. One of the best shows I've ever seen.
• The Blacklist was always going to get a fourth season; it's still very good indeed if you realise that Liz Keen is fundamentally unsuited for the life she has ended up in. Of course the show did have to work around Megan Boone's pregnancy and did so in a very interesting manner... It has also got a spinoff starring Famke Janssen, who is best known to me for playing Xenia Onatopp in GoldenEye.
• There were the usual batch of bad ideas that got ordered and didn't last long; Rush Hour for example.
• Agent Carter was a surprise renewal last year, but the axe this year was no surprise. Good show, but never got decent ratings. At least Atwell's Conviction pilot got ordered to series and I may well check that out.
• The CSI franchise has finally died; Cyber was a silly idea for a spinoff.

'Castle' cancelled after eight seasons

Multiple sources are saying that the ABC dramedy will not be coming back for a ninth season.

I am sad but also relieved. The show started getting silly and without Stana Katic in it wouldn't have been worth watching.

Best to end it now. In fact ending it last season or even at Season 6 would have been even better.

I'll miss it of course, but I am sure something new will come along that I will enjoy just as much.

Captain America: Civil War - Mini Review

I saw this yesterday at one of my local cinemas and have to say that it was very good. I admit the plot got a tad hard to follow at times, but keeping me thinking obviously helped distract me at points.

The action scenes were superb throughout, combining humour with spectacular special effects and I have to say that the plot was a pretty good one, serving the characters well. The outcome felt genuinely up for grabs, which made the climax more tense.

Also, got to say that a certain new character was just on the right side of annoying.

8/10

Better than expected but not by much - 2016 local elections

Labour have lost fewer councillors than predicted but still lost overall. That is not good enough to win in 2020 by any stretch of the imagination.

Going backwards in Scotland and Wales makes the job harder as we have to win more seats in England.

Corbyn needs to stop making unforced PR errors. That's not even covering the anti-Semitism issue; I am really not happy about the response there.

If Ken Livingstone is allowed to remain in the party of what he has said, I will leave it.

Congratulations to Leicester City

After the 2-2 draw between Chelsea and Tottenham tonight, Leicester City, a side at 5000-1 odds to win the title and in fact tipped for relegation, have won the Premier League for the first time.

This is a truly epic achievement and I heartily congratulate them; I sincerely hope this is the start of great times for the club.

I'll pass on watching the first Match of the Day next season though... Gary Lineker in his underpants isn't a sight I want to see...

The Curious Incident of the Companion in the Half-Time Break

So, after ten minutes of seeing Gary Lineker auditioning for the Master with his goatee and discovering just how bald Alan Shearer is these days, we got a two minute video introducing the new companion:

Pearl Mackie; when I looked her up on IMDB after watching this, she didn't even have a photo. She's arguably a bigger unknown than Matt Smith was, so she hasn't got any 'baggage' or 'typecastness' to get away from.

As for 'Bill', which I strongly suggest is a contraction of something, I wasn't overly impressed on the first watch of the video, but I liked her more on the second. I think she'll definitely grow on me as a companion.

Also, she can beat Twelve in an eyebrow contest... and all the companions in the hair department. Mind you, the afro won't be easy to get into a space helmet.

That's just a small problem. Welcome to the show, Pearl Mackie!

Prince Rogers Ferguson 1958-2016

The flamboyant musical superstar has died aged 57.


Rest in Peace, Prince. The music you produced was legendary and you'll be deeply missed.

 

The Queen at 90

I would like to wish Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II a very happy birthday indeed.

Vote Leave's attempt to have its cake and eat ot

Vote Leave, the official 'Brexit' campaign, wants us to have all the benefits of the EU without 'paying' for it, i.e. not contributing towards the budget and not allowing freedom of movement.

Do you honestly think that the EU will allow a 'free rider' in their single market? I don't.

Victoria Wood 1953-2016

The British comedian has died aged 62

Another real loss; she was very good in what I did see her in and 62 is really no age to go. Especially from cancer.

Rest in Peace.

Stopping reviews

I've decided that, with some exceptions, namely the Star Trek reviews and some films, that I won't be doing any further reviews here. They're very time consuming and it actually diminishes my enjoyment of a show having to think about doing a review for it.

Also, the news about Castle has put me off the idea of doing a planned review for that and I don't plan to watch any Season 9.

Gareth Thomas 1945-2016

The actor best known for the lead role in 'Blake's Seven', the 1978-1981 BBC science fiction show has passed away. 

I don't tend to post obituaries on the Phoenix blog but his role as freedom fighter Roj Blake was a big part of the show's success and the show was a big influence on me growing up. This dystopian work inspired the name of the character Sue Ling and indeed was the topic of the very first feature article in the site newsletter.

The galaxy is a sadder place today. 

Rest in Peace.

The Panama Papers

The leaking of 11 million files from a Panamanian law firm has already cost one national leader his job; the Icelandic PM was doing something pretty dodgy.

However, a thought occurred to me; aren't all these rich people doing exactly what others would do in their (hand-made) shoes - trying to preserve as much of their wealth as possible? In my country, the top rate of tax is currently 45% - and it's been higher recently - at just over £150,000.

If I was earning £300,000 a year as a self-employed person, I would pay £129,530.20 a year in tax and Class 2 National Insurance contributions. At three million, I'd lose nearly £1.4m to HMRC.

Is it any surprise therefore that people want to avoid that? They should be honest about it if they are of course; which is the bigger issue here.

Ronnie Corbett 1930-2016

I'm having to write a lot of these posts at the moment because we're losing so many legends; this is the sixth one I've written so far in 2016 and we're only a quarter of the way through.

Ronnie Corbett had a long and truly excellent career in comedy; his gags have truly stood the test of time and remain funny today; there are very few of his overall quality (not to mention accessibility to a family audience) out there at the moment.

Many people will be lighting metaphorical candles in his memory tonight... four of them of course.

Rest in Peace.

Things what I have watched - March 2016

I would like to apologise for the short one last month - this was due to me being pretty busy at the time. I will aim for at least five each month.

DC's Legends of Tomorrow

With Arthur Darvill as a lead (he actually comes second in the credits to the excellent Victor Garber) working for an organisation called the Time Masters, the Doctor Who comparisons become inevitable, although Rip Hunter actually first appeared in Showcase #20 in 1959, pre-dating that show by four years. At any rate, it's not that show - with a lot more violence by the crew of Darvill's time ship.

Agent Carter

This is looking likely to be axed after two seasons; Hayley Atwell has been signed up for another pilot on ABC (where she will probably use her excellent American accent) and Marvel are likely to move forward with the Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse spinoff that wasn't ordered last season. It would be a pity as this is an enjoyable show, with both Atwell (who is a popular suggestion for a female Doctor) and James D'Arcy delivering strong performances with excellent British humour in them. That said, it might be best not to let this run on for too long.

Line of Duty

The third series of this police drama opened in rather different style in which we clearly see that the subject of their investigation is clearly guilty of murder... but then pulls the metaphorical rug out from under us by having

Happy Valley

Definitely one of the best dramas in recent years and proof positive that a sojourn in Weatherfield (especially behind the bar of the Rovers Return) does not mean you are a bad actor; Sarah Lancashire was superb, as was Katherine Kelly. Wouldn't be surprised to see this get an American remake.

The Night Manager

I was already a fan of Tom Hiddleston due to his Marvel work previously, but he's just got himself a much bigger fan base, probably because he keeps mislaying his shirt in this. If he becomes the next Bond, I won't be surprised. The demonstration sequence in Episode 5 featured some truly impressive explosive work (costing a million quid just for that sequence) even if Tom Hollander causing Thor problems in a fight isn't entirely realistic.

Stella

This Welsh set comedy drama isn't exactly the most realistic drama around with coincidences and general silliness galore, but I sincerely hope that Ivan Schloss packed lunch. An eight hour ride in a two-car Sprinter to Middlesbrough...

The man who showed us another way

In this time of increasing intolerance and fracturing of our social values, I continue to find comfort in someone who preached forgiveness and loving your neighbours.

Happy Easter to all my readers.

We've got to take action ourselves

We (as in, but not limited to, socialists/social democrats, trade unionists, religious groups) are going to have to start dipping into our own pockets and setting up new public services ourselves because of the cuts. Communities and organisations. are going to have to do what the government doesn't want to. Indeed, that's actually how many schools got started originally in this country - church organised schools for poor children. We're going socially back to the Victorian era in this country sadly.

It will be four years at least before Labour can return to power and some of the changes are probably impossible to undo easily, if at all.

In the meantime, we can start building a better society from the grass-roots either by volunteering or by your money. It's a far more constructive use of our time than insulting each other.

Ghostbusters - the female version

So, I've watched the trailers for the Paul Feig Ghostbusters remake due out later this year - and I have to say that it's not that bad. Self-referential humour is very much the norm these days - and for those complaining about the black character; 1) I know more than one person like that in RL and 3) she's the sensible, practical one, which is actually a bonus. Not perfect, but a sight better than many black characters over the years. If the reviews are good enough, I might even go to the cinema for this one.

I appreciate that people might not like it and feel it's another cash grab, but cash grabs are older than you might think; Abbot and Costello were doing cash grab films... and in fact the first remake was in 1904... of the 1903 film The Great Train Robbery i.e. the first American film with an actual narrative plot...

Sir Ken Adam 1921-2016

The legenday set designer has died.

His work on the Bond movies is truly brilliant and set the standard for his successors to follow; even with the limited budget of Dr No, he did wonders... and when he got the 007 Stage to play with at Pinewood, he created a truly magnificent one:

The Supertanker set from The Spy Who Loved Me (MGM via IMDB)

In fact, I can truly say that nobody did it better in terms of set design. Rest in Peace.

Because I Got High (Review: 'Star Trek' 1.24, "This Side of Paradise")

I have wondered on more than one occasion during this watch if drugs were involved in the writing. In this case, you can wonder if drugs were involved in the acting...

****

The Enterprise crew beams down to a human colony on an agricultural world where by rights the entire population should have been killed by radiation - yet they are all alive and seemingly very happy.

Yep, it's another supposedly idyllic world that turns out to have something a great deal darker about it...

This review contains spoilers.

****
The reason why everyone is so happy is due to alien spores that give him perfect health and place them in a state of contented bliss. It's a message saying that the 'drugs don't work' which is possibly what might have been needed in the LSD decade, although Kirk's final comment that humanity needs to struggle to achieve things in order to be human is rather downbeat - especially in the show that is itself set in a sort of utopia where poverty is a thing of the past in the Federation.

The spores end up infecting the entire crew of the UFP spaceship, making Spock fall in love with an airy woman called Leila (she's got him on his knees!) and hang from a branch like a primate, McCoy gets very Southern indeed and Uhura demonstrates a hitherto not demonstrated technical ability when she sabotages the communications console. These first two are all pretty funny, but timing prohibits us from seeing Sulu or Scotty fully on the space whaccy-baccy, which is a pity, because Leila is pretty annoying.

Even Kirk gets infected, but his love for his ship manages to stop him from beaming down and destroys the spores. He realises that strong emotions are the way to deal with it and so ends up racially insulting Spock... repeatedly until he attacks him in a fight sequence with some obvious stunt doubles.

The guest stars are pretty forgettable - I couldn't even remember the name of the other guy, played by Frank Overton in his final TV role before dying a month after transmission of a heart attack aged only 49. I do note that the colony is somewhat ethnically diverse, which Trek has been at the forefront of to some extent.

Much of this is filmed on location; in a wood this time, as well as some farm buildings (at the oft used Golden Oak Ranch owned by Disney) that these blissed out characters somehow managed to erect. There are barns, but no-one even fires at the broad sides sadly...

Conclusion

A chance to see the crew of NCC-1701 acting out of character; this is an enjoyable tale even if possibly a bit too negative in its overall message.

8/10

Things what I have watched - February 2016

Castle

Got to say that I'm really not liking the Beckett/Castle 'break-up' arc; both parties are being stupid in this and I wish they would sort this thing out.

Agents of SHIELD

Jemma Simmons needs a hug. "4,722 Hours", the episode that explores what happened to her for over six months on an alien world was superb and very well acted by Elizabeth Henstridge. I see the FitzSimmons are not happy about her and Will, but he was literally the only guy on the planet. Also, going all PTSD on her return is understandable - she was too busy surviving previously.

FTL Kestrel Adventures

I'm just making a quick post to recommend this excellent animation series set in the world of the Faster Than Light game; if they ever do a sequel, this guy should be hired to do cutscenes.

In fact, someone should give him a full time job animation job.

Check it out here.

Seriously, I'm not enjoyed a machinima this much since Clear Skies (although it arguably isn't one).

Fringe 1.11: Bound

I love Olivia Dunham. Not in the romantic sense of the word (she's a fictional character for one thing) but in the sense that she has just become awesome. Yes, the bottom-kicking female has become a bit of a cliché these days, but if it ain't broke don't fix it.

She does indeed get out of her predicament in style, getting a guard to give her some water... then smashing the glass over his head. She then retrieves some key evidence before getting out and later on has some pretty awesome scenes. Before that, she ends up strapped to a stretcher while a guy in a very creepy mask (and distinctive shoes) looks at her, then gives her a spinal tap.

Speaking of spinal taps, this episode definitely goes up to 11 in several regards. Firstly, the deadly science thing of the week, which involves a gigantic cold virus killing people and coming out of their mouths. While cold viruses don't actually look like slugs (they're far more spherical in shape and can be bought as adorable plushies), it's still a very arresting image.

Also, Walter is definitely in the Mad Scientist category this week - giving LSD to a caterpillar for no obvious reason and showing a bit too much excitement about the Ebola virus while his son and Olivia look for said giant slug in a lecture theatre.

There's definitely some very shady conspiracy going on here; Olivia is now in something up to the neck of her stylish work suit.

Only drawback was the scenes with Olivia's sister and niece, which just seem too much like filler to me.

Conclusion

Minor family stuff aside, this was a very good episode of the show that is now well and truly kicked into gear.

9/10

EU renegotiation

I am in favour of continued membership of the EU. I believe that our membership benefits our economy and our place in the world. While not a perfect organisation, it is frequently maligned unfairly.

Cameron's renegotiation is at heart a selfish move to protect our country at the expense of millions of poorer people in Europe. People come here because this is a good country to live in and they can earn far more than in their own country. We should be working together to improve the lives of all Europeans, not engaging in discriminatory moves. Also, a benefits ban can have its own problems. What if someone comes here to work and then gets into a serious accident making them need disability benefit?

I'd like that to be clearer and have exceptions... but the way this government has been treating people on benefits doesn't fill me with confidence.

Nor am I confident that REMAIN will win the referendum, sadly.

I think I'll stick to apple juice (Review: 'Star Trek' 1.23, "A Taste of Armageddon")

When I saw the trailer for this on my DVD, I thought the hats were going to be the most ridiculous thing in this episode. I was wrong.

****

The Enterprise is on approach to an alien world with the aim to establish diplomatic relations with it when it receives a message telling it to stay away. However, they are ordered by the Ambassador on board to ignore that message and find themselves drawn into a very strange war indeed.

****

Much of science fiction, especially Star Trek, aims to make comments on our own society and times via the activities of fantasy worlds. How well it manages to do that varies; it can be subtle and brilliant... or it can be like having a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick applied to your head, to quote The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Unfortunately this is a bit of a Gargle Blaster of an episode, intended as a commentary on the ongoing Vietnam War and coming across to me as one on the Cold War as well (remember this is five years after the Cuban Missiles Crisis) which comes across as heavy handed to me... also, a bit implausible. The central premise of the episode revolves around people willingly killing themselves because a computer has told them to do so. While I would agree that people have engaged in mass murder because someone told them it was the right thing, most humans do have a sense of self-preservation and surely some would have refused. Anyway, even the 'fake war' of the episode has real humanoid costs that would have an impact... and the length of time it has been going on is ridiculous. In short, the entire scenario falls apart at close examination.

Spock and Kirk don't have a great episode at all; Kirk is very unsubtle in his approach. The best of the crew is in fact Scotty, who refuses an order from Ambassador Fox that could get them all killed; reflecting a real incident in James Doohan's life where as an officer in the Royal Canadian Army, he refused to do something in a training exercise that would kill his own men.

Ambassador Fox (played by Gene Lyons, best known as the police commissioner on Ironside) is a complete and utter idiot; he clearly failed Common Sense. He ignores the message from the planet and overrides sensible decisions by the crew of the ship on the grounds of diplomacy, failing to realise (to quote Scotty) that sometimes the best form of diplomacy is indeed a fully armed phaser bank.

The planet is led by one Anan 7, played by David Opatoshu, a man with a suitably evil goatee and a slightly swarthy look that got a lot of roles as Middle Eastern characters over the years. He's clearly quite, quite insane. Apart from the guards in silly hats, the main other character on the planet is Mea 3, one of the few credited and on-screen appearances by Barbara Babcock (who mostly did uncredited voice work in the original series), who wears a classic female costume of this sort of era... or rather half one, which is pretty distracting.

The ending sees Kirk engage in some very reckless behaviour - basically risking a nuclear exchange between the two sides in order to force them to talk.

Finally, can we please stop these 'comedy' final scenes? They're getting irritating.

****
Conclusion

This is supposed to be a metaphor on the madness and stupidity of war. Unfortunately, it comes across as just stupid.

5/10

Mystery Science Theater 3000

In the not too distant future, somewhere in the US, a new series of Mystery Science Theater 3000, funded by fans to the tune of over $6 million, will go into production and I for one am very much looking forward to it.

The show can be summarised simply as "guy and two robots watch bad movies while making jokes about them"... but they're very good jokes. Indeed, it's influenced the whole way that people watch regular TV (including me) and the original remains a cult classic.

While you're waiting for the new lot, an array of episodes from across the eleven seasons can be watched here with others available for a small fee on the Rifftrax website (which of course was set up by former host Mike Nelson).

Now if you excuse me, I've got movie sign.

Crow: Hey, isn't he supposed to put his own riffs in here?