Going or staying: US TV upfronts 2018-19

ABC

• ABC's order of Take Two, essentially a female-led Castle by the same creative team, is a gamble I think won't pay off. That show really captured lightning in a bottle, but the way it ended means I'm reluctant to re-watch it.
• Agents of SHIELD took a bold step in a new direction and the ratings held up just enough to get it renewed - as a 13-episode run in summer 2019. That may be the last season there, time will well.
• Designated Survivor turned into a fairly generic political show with its Season 1 arc completed; Season 2 will be its last and it's hardly been must-watch TV this run.

CBS

• All the shows I watch on this network were renewed in the bulk renewal - even some shows that seemed to have doubts over their future.
• NCIS will likely go on until Mark Harmon, who looks way younger than his 66 years, decides to call it a day, and probably beyond that.
• Scorpion was canned after four seasons. Not that I care in the slightest.
• Criminal Minds got a 14th season. How many serial killers are there in that universe?

The CW

• All the DC shows were renewed - Legends of Tomorrow has really hit its stride now.
• An expansion to six nights a week of original programming means a lot more quality can come through. So can a lot more rubbish.
• Is Charmed's sole appeal attractive female magic users?

FOX

• Brooklyn Nine-Nine's axe after five seasons wasn't a surprise. What did surprise me was the sheer outpouring of support for the show after the axe dropped... and the acquisition by NBC before breakfast on Saturday. Cue a lot of triumphant reactions and 'name of your sex tape' jokes on Reddit.
• The Orville was renewed early due to the lead time needed to make Season 2. The 13 episode length proved just right for a show that turned out to have much more of a drama aspect than the initial trailer suggested. A funny and loving homage to Star Trek, Seth MacFarlane will likely be captaining the ship for a good while yet.
• I'd never heard of Last Man Standing, so I don't really care about its revival.

HBO

• While Westworld can most certainly be a very confusing show at times with all the jumping about of timelines, it looks spectacular and has some things worth saying about our society. Its early season three renewal was no surprise.
• Veep will end after seven seasons, its finale delayed by Julia Louis-Dreyfuss getting breast cancer.

NBC

• The Blacklist has taken an even darker turn as Liz Keen has started casually dissolving bodies in acid and luring crooks into lethal traps.
  
• Timeless would have been better as a summer show. The fact it's still in limbo after May has ended suggests it's dead.

Showtime

• Homeland, which at times found itself overtaken by reality in the crazy department (a common theme in the political shows this season), will get an eight and final season in late 2019 once the superlative Claire Danes comes back from maternity leave. It's probably best to end the show on its own terms.

Other

• Syfy's cancellation of The Expanse, along with Dark Matter going earlier in the season, is probably a sign that their move into space shows hasn't worked out for them financially. Earth-bound works tend to be cheaper. Amazon has the money to make it work.
  

'Mystery Science Theater 3000' 11.12, "Carnival Magic"

So, Kinga wants to marry Jonah as a ratings stunt... anyway, that's a lot better of an idea that Carnival Magic, which involves a magician trying to save a carnival with a talking monkey. Wacky hi-jinks ensue and they're not very good ones at that; the movie drags badly, the plot is unconvincing and the music is just bizarre. Also, there's a rather creepy subtext in places and what is supposed to be a family film has a lot of adult themes.

It's a source for some quality riffing, with some excellent skits (Mark Hamill's cameo tops the lot, but it's a close race), some lovely callbacks to past classics and great deconstruction of the relative lack of talking monkey in this. I enjoyed it a lot and it may in time become a fan favourite.

9/10

'Mystery Science Theater 3000' 11.11, "Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II"

Yes, I know it's been a long while since I've done one of these...

****

A sequel in name only (the connection with the first movie is pretty much non-existent); this 1989 movie has a rating of 1.9 on IMDB, which says something. The movie tries to be funny with one-liners that wouldn't be out of place in Guardians of the Galaxy... but Guardians is a much better movie for any number of reasons. The fight choreography is atrocious, the characters pretty annoying from top to bottom of the bill and the plot would be rejected for even a campy Dungeons and Dragons movie. It's also pretty sexist as a film, even if the scantily-clad female leads (including the late Lana Clarkson, who was murdered by Phil Spector at the age of 40) actually get some of the better lines.

A steady stream of riffs provides a good deal of laughs and helps one get through the awful movie - which even the bots find is past their tolerance level. Also, the skits are all pretty good.

8/10